How to conquer depression

There is nothing you can do about your age or rejection. Don't focus on dating for now. Is there something else you want to do in life. Something that would bring you satisfaction. Even if it's not as important as dating. Try to shift your priorities.

This is a very insightful video you might want to see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-0ETX4z_DU

Merry Christmas to everyone

Okay, I'm going to have to be very careful here, since threads like this tend to trigger my despair and suicidal thoughts, but...

What happens when someone cannot do these things you have recommended/suggested? What happens when someone is too stupid to understand the instructions, has flashback backs that say they should die when they read these things, or they feel so retarded, worthless, and ashamed... well it is hard to explain something I can't remember too clearly, but it isn't good once I step away from this computer.

I ask because this reaction i'm having to reading your suggestions... is exactly what happens whenever I go to see professionals, and they just scream at me to shut-up, humiliate me, and... well worse. Anyways...

You are throwing around advice, most of it I have heard of in one form or another through the years, so... i'm asking you now.

How does someone deal with violent thoughts, not hollywood violent. I mean... hard to explain but i've been told because of child abuse i lash out verbally (and I do this when no one is around as well, just louder with hiting things if I really get going) and do into defense mode from hell. I get tunnel vision, can only think of how I need to die, i'm too retarded, and I can hear everyone who has ever yelled at me all at once (no, I can't hear individual voices,too many at once). meds make me sick while offering no assistance. I react so poorly to pills (which I am a perfectionist in taking because i fear dying from overdose) that psychiatrist has finally given up on them.

I have almost no money, so my options are very very limited. psychiatrist finally recommended a therapist to try, whom I cannot afford, so... no therapy again for me. I can now not afford psychiatrist more than a couple times a year, so when something goes wrong on pills I just have to stop taking them and hope for the best, because I can't afford seeing her and ordering the pills.

I've been to the state agency around here, and was thrown out when I complained after five months the pills were doing nothing "If they aren't working, then stop coming on."

Of course my problem is more complex than mere depression. I have autism, both forms of anxiety, child abuse flashbacks, and something I am told is like a PTSD, but is different (yes, that is how both psychologist and psychiatrist explained it to me).

I can't afford change of diet, because i eat what I can afford or family buys me to eat. I'm missing most of my teeth now and what is left hurt unless I'm very careful. I also have stomach pains if I'm not careful what I eat.

I suffer severe learned helplessness, negative dialogue I have no control over unless i scream, and scream and scream, usually with punching things until the pain fogs out the thoughts. But as you may guess, this is only a temporary fix, and does not always work, and comes with FUN guilt and shame feelings. I rarely do it anymore.

*rubs temples* Sorry, things like this trigger nasty feelings inside of me, flashbacks of lots and lots of jumbled stuff, so... I'm not sure if you can help or if I've even made sense, but since real world is no longer much of an option because I can't buy care and I am more or less dying from physical neglect, infections, damage from pills i have taken and did nothing... my time is winding down, so I'm taking info anywhere I get it.

First of all you are not stupid. We all use different terms to describe things. So I apologize if I didn't write something clear enough for you. Let me know what part you didn't understand. I would be more than happy to explain it to you.

I am not "throwing advice around". All of this here is the sum of my painful struggle. Everything that kept me going and worked for me. You have been through lot of trouble in this +20 years. Yet you are still alive, there is still hope for you.

About these violent thoughts that you have. I encourage you to share them with me. I won't judge you and I'll even tell you some of mine. Once thoughts that we think of as unacceptable are said they lose some of the hold they have on us. Violent thoughts are produced by the turmoil inside. Don't be ashamed this is normal.

I've never had PTSD or Autism so I know nothing about these fields. There was a time when I would have anxiety attacks when I would be close to passing cars because of my accident. There was this street where for some reason the sidewalk ends for like ten feet and then continues. At this point the cars drive past you like a foot away from you. Every time I had to walk through there I was so afraid that I thought I would die for sure. Months past and the same thought always went through my mind. Sweating and walking stiff with fear through there became a daily routine. Eventually I just accepted the fear. I accepted the fact that I would die there. Surprisingly this made the anxiety go away. I've never had a problem ever since then.

You already know that only popping pills will not work for you. Even when I take pills if I let my mind get filled with hatred they have no affect. That's why I emphasize so much on negativity and emotions in this thread.

There're alot of things you can't control, you already know them well. But your thoughts and emotions are not one of them. Make it your job to read one of the techniques daily and practice it. as soon as you get of the computer. Even if you can't do it for yourself do it for your son.

Hi Hope spammer1,
"to discard all the thoughts that constantly plague your mind. There's no need to be so hard on yourself. Train your mind to stop from repeating bad things over and over. Simply catch yourself in the moment that these negative thoughts go through your head. Interrupt them with a positive thought or image of your own."

I found it difficult to simply replace the negative thought with a positive one because the negative pattern becomes addictive. I needed to break the negative thought process first. I found 2 things that helped: 1) concentrate on breathing for a few minutes. Just breath in and feel the breath entering your body - maybe just your nose, then breathe out. I count "1" on the in breathe and "2" on the out breathe until I can just concentrate on the breath itself, without any other thought. Once the negative thought process is broken, then 2) I examine the thought that triggered the negative tail spin with the intention of realistically labeling it. That may result in discarding it, looking for an alternative, or just accepting it as something in the past, etc. I look for reality checks, engaging rational thought rather than emotion. (I may not be stating this technically correct, but I hope the gist of the comment is understood.)

I was stuck in heartbreak until I read about "complicated grief" and asked my therapist to try it with me. I didn't need the therapist to finish the effort with me - I did. I found that by reviewing the upsetting history, piece by piece - with the intent of realistically labeling the history and putting it "away" rather than having it continually swirl - helped tremendously. I've heard don't dwell on the past, don't look back. But, sometimes the past needs to be reframed to interrupt the pattern of negative, irreconcilable thinking. At least for me. I could not resolve spoken and written words with behavior. Fortunately, the heartbreak came from a long distance relationship. Much is in writing. It was eye opening to look at the messages and discuss behaviors with a third party - a therapist. Now I can move on.

So, breaking the negative thoughts by stopping them with simple concentration on breathing, then rationally reframing the negative thoughts had a fantastic impact for me. I was abel to reconcile conflicting thoughts.

Thank you for the contribution Pat. I'm glad you found a way to break free. And yes reframing is very important. I mentioned it but I called it adding purpose since I didn't know the technical name. Also if breathing worked so well you should try meditation.

Thanks for the posts, I'm finding them very helpful. In particular, I'm enjoying meditation, as it brings my mood up. Thanks again .

moonseeker wrote:Thanks for the posts, I'm finding them very helpful. In particular, I'm enjoying meditation, as it brings my mood up. Thanks again .

No thank you for holding on and bringing a smile to my face. Keep enjoying life you deserve it.

Hope spammer1 wrote:First of all you are not stupid. We all use different terms to describe things. So I apologize if I didn't write something clear enough for you. Let me know what part you didn't understand. I would be more than happy to explain it to you.

I am not "throwing advice around". All of this here is the sum of my painful struggle. Everything that kept me going and worked for me. You have been through lot of trouble in this +20 years. Yet you are still alive, there is still hope for you.

About these violent thoughts that you have. I encourage you to share them with me. I won't judge you and I'll even tell you some of mine. Once thoughts that we think of as unacceptable are said they lose some of the hold they have on us. Violent thoughts are produced by the turmoil inside. Don't be ashamed this is normal.

I've never had PTSD or Autism so I know nothing about these fields. There was a time when I would have anxiety attacks when I would be close to passing cars because of my accident. There was this street where for some reason the sidewalk ends for like ten feet and then continues. At this point the cars drive past you like a foot away from you. Every time I had to walk through there I was so afraid that I thought I would die for sure. Months past and the same thought always went through my mind. Sweating and walking stiff with fear through there became a daily routine. Eventually I just accepted the fear. I accepted the fact that I would die there. Surprisingly this made the anxiety go away. I've never had a problem ever since then.

You already know that only popping pills will not work for you. Even when I take pills if I let my mind get filled with hatred they have no affect. That's why I emphasize so much on negativity and emotions in this thread.

There're alot of things you can't control, you already know them well. But your thoughts and emotions are not one of them. Make it your job to read one of the techniques daily and practice it. as soon as you get of the computer. Even if you can't do it for yourself do it for your son.

OKay, first, apologies, but when i first came here i was mid meltdown, in part because i was nosing around a new therapist (fourth in three years), and well every time I consider going to a professional... i have massive mood issues. Child abuse, being beaten and chased from class by a teacher, having a doctor make you perform physical feats in front of others as proof of why you need to die or at least be in prison the rest of your life... yeah, I don't like trust doctors and professionals/authority figures. Nightmares is the easy part before each session.

Second, I lost track of this thread because of what i'm coming to find out is dissociation amnesia issues and I just randomly stumbled back upon it tonight, so... I'll have to get back to you later for a FULL reply.

Third, what do you mean we control our thoughts and emotions? To me, in my life experience, this is the most *edited out racial, sexual, and non english words of hatred, you get the idea* piece of propaganda I have ever heard.

Fair warning... i'm drifting between two states of mind right now, so i can see my delusions and my self at the same time, WAY freaky, and i'm not editing out the two sides so you get some idea WHAT i deal with in trying to talk with you about this.

Emotions can only be controlled with drugs, beatings, pain, and screaming in my experience. They are hormone based. One the adrenaline hits my blood stream, I cannot change this physiological fact for 45-60min until it burns back out of my system. I cannot breathing exercises, not relax muscles, nor thing "happy things" without flying into blind rage or feel like i'm suffocating and panic violently. So...

*grumbles* Damned triggers. You leaned HARD on one here, because i was raised to be too stupid, incompetent, retarded, and homo to ever do anything but screw-up, so... doing something new casues trigger reactions. So...

I may spit foam, fly into a rage, or stop eating for several days in despair for asking this... but... new information IS information. Once the despair passes, I read whatever you say five, ten, twenty times... something of it might soak through. It just won't be fun, lmao. Lord will it not.

So... all that said, and regardless of how much just answering here is making my chest hurt... how do you claim we control our thoughts and emotions?

((BTW, I'm avoiding your opening post to this thread so I DON'T trigger myself. Your post triggers heavy despair for me because of the PTSD BS, so i'm cheating and focusing on only one aspect at at time. That way I can attempt to burn it into my mind and not have my dissociation defense mech blank it out with amnesia.))

If you think of this as propaganda it will never work for you it's that simple. Your beliefs influence you emotions and your control over them. Also this was never meant for someone like you. PTSD and depression are two very different things. However I still believe you can get better even if it's a small improvement.

So let's start with the things you do believe in

Beatings
Step 1: Find something inexpensive but durable
Step 2: Beat the hell out of it
Step 3: Repeat as necessary

Pain
Start working out. Either lift weights or run constantly. You'll get that burning feeling in your muscles.

Screaming
"The Going Crazy Technique
Generally, the above technique is one of the best relaxation tools available. But some people find that their anxiety is causing them too much energy to sit back and relax. They need to let out that energy, and they can do that with what I like to call the "Going Crazy" technique.

This is when you simply let everything out all at once. In a quiet place with no one around (since it can be sort of embarrassing if people see you), run around in a circle, flail your arms, scream and yell and do anything you want, no matter how crazy it is (as long as it's safe, of course). Throw a tantrum. Jump on your bed. Throw a pillow on the floor. Laugh hysterically. As the name implies, GO CRAZY. Whatever you want to do, do it. Let go of your sense of what's ridiculous for a while and let yourself go nuts until you've let it all out.

You should overkill it. Do it for a full 5 to 10 minutes (much longer than it sounds). When you feel like you've let it all out, keep letting it out. Don't stop until you've released so much of that pent up frustration, anxiety, and stress that you are left drained and satisfied.

Not everyone benefits from this type of technique, and you definitely want to make sure that you can do it in private. But those that feel like they simply need to let out their emotions may find this a better tool than simply relaxing."
source:http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/relaxation