How to conquer depression

If you feel depressed, what is wrong with sleeping the weekend away? That is what I plan on doing. Feeling very tired (can barely keep my eyes open). And hopefully i will be well rested and re-energized and able to work again come monday? But there was mention that sleeping all day lead to depression trigger - what is that? WOuldn't sleeping be good bc you are not dealing with anyone or saying depressing or mean things to anyone and don't have energy and aren't positive and are stressed?

Sorry, should have kept this thread positive. What has helped me in conquering depression is:
trying to solve a puzzle or challenging work.
lose your goals and expectations for a while.
Try to avoid whatever is causing the stress for some time.

I have learned at least for me that too much stress and overthinking leads to depression.

Sorry, should have kept this thread positive

Don't worry about it. The only thing that I care about is that you're reading it. You raised an interesting question. I don't think over sleeping a little can be bad when you're tired. But to me there is a difference between the "I worked hard all day" sleep to the "nothing matters anymore" kind. Knowing when to rest and when to get up, push forward were important to me. This can make a big difference in your life. Knowing the difference between the two can save you from falling into many depressive episodes. Too much sleep when you're down will make you get up tired and be vulnerable to depression during the day.. Not sleeping when you really need it will wear you out and depress you.

Also thank you for posting what has helped you. I really appreciate it.

Too much sleep when you're down will make you get up tired and be vulnerable to depression during the day..

True.

12 step work; up to 4th and 5th steps. These are resentment steps. You work with a sponsor, You work out of a book, with massive questioning; an inventory of your life. Your going to dump everything to this sponsor. Assuming you trust him. This gets rid of resentments, the number one killers...

OMNICELL wrote:12 step work; up to 4th and 5th steps. These are resentment steps. You work with a sponsor, You work out of a book, with massive questioning; an inventory of your life. Your going to dump everything to this sponsor. Assuming you trust him. This gets rid of resentments, the number one killers...

Thank you for the contribution.

Hope Spammer, your statement "Your thoughts will always exaggerate the negative aspects of your life." really hit home. Even if they are true, swirling them around constantly makes them more important. Thanks for the reminder.
I have had major depression for 2 yrs. I've seen therapists (2) and tried meds (3). After a marriage on paper only ended (23 yrs w partner), I finally moved on, and to a new state. Or so I thought I would. After 3 yrs, I felt ready to find the romance and companionship I always wanted. In 2010 I reconnected with someone I worked with 14 yrs ago. We both mentioned an emotional connection back in the day, but were both married. The friendship blossomed - long distance - into romance. Then, he abruptly ended the "commited" relationship in an email. As in any relationship we both had a roll in its demise, but I took on the main burden. If only I was more patient, more understanding, less outspoken, less this or more that... I was heartbroken - truly caught off guard and felt discarded. After a few grueling months of trying to figure what went wrong (Doug (8 yrs younger and very compatible) never looked back, never responded to any communication or request for forgiveness), I tried to move on and date, still hoping for a second chance. For the next 1.5 years I found my age (early 60's) is a major "obstacle". Age was never a problem for me until now. It seems men see women my age as asexual, and women think I shoulde be happy with memories of children and grandchildren (neither of which I have). By the way, most if not all these women are married and have children and grandchildren. I am an anomaly.) I was a professional women, somewhat of a workaholic - especailly when work was more fulfilling than an empty marriage. I consider myself intelligent, caring, independent, courageous, vulnerable, generous, and self-sufficient. But, I do want to share life with someone - to be held, to have someone answer a phone call, to share a joy or pain with. Someone to come home to, to have a cup of coffee with....
I knew I could not recover the lost years of my marriage, but I thought I had a future ahead of me. Now, the rejection, and lack of support is almost insurmountable. Maybe not "almost".
I tried to look at my values and see where I was in "doing" something to support them. That can give me personal goals, when I have no real energy right now, but it does not replace the need for connection, belonging, endearment, touch. It is easy to get discouraged when phone calls and text messages arent't answered for days - even by family. The isoloation and superficial social activities are not fulfilling.
One therapist was nurturing and consoling for 13 mos .... another (7 mos) was sort of 'tough love' - get going again. But, I couldn't get going without resolving the pain and hurt from the past and having someone acknowledge the real difficulty of being a number too high in age in the dating world. I am still looking for a therapist that can help. In the meantime, I've gotten more from books including "Brief Therapies", "Getting Naked Again", and the nearly 70 I've read as I sought understanding.
Your comment reminded me that it's is easy to focus on the negatives. I do because they are real, but I can also imagine they are somewhat exaggerated because I see no - HOPE.

I tried to look at my values and see where I was in "doing" something to support them. That can give me personal goals, when I have no real energy right now, but it does not replace the need for connection, belonging, endearment, touch. It is easy to get discouraged when phone calls and text messages aren't answered for days - even by family. The isoloation and superficial social activities are not fulfilling.

Hi Pat

The things that we crave the most can hold us prisoners. Asking ourselves "what if I had this or that" always takes away from our life more than we think. We all want something in life, we all expect life to be a certain way. Expectations lead to disappointments. If you want to date do it and try to have fun in that moment. This should be your real goal. Have you tried a dating site? It might bring you more opportunities.

I don't know anything about your age issue since I'm still young but I can see it's a problem for you. I do know that feeling undesired by people always made me feel terrible. Things only got better when I accepted all of my flaws and learned to love myself completely. You're not some anomaly. You are strong and someone out there will be lucky enough to give an experienced lady such as yourself everything she desires. The trick is that you have to see this for yourself first.

Hope spammer1 wrote:

Have you tried a dating site? It might bring you more opportunities.

Yup! Tried several like eHarmony, Chemistry, Match, including Plenty of Fish... about 12-15 over the 1.5 yrs because I don't normally engage with men on a one-on-one basis (remember the pool gets smaller as you age). The problem with these site is many men screen for age alone - don't even get to profiles or pics. I created a separate profile and lied about my age to not be screened out (Let's face it, even Speed Dating tops out at 55). I had conversations w one man but when I told him my age, he was disgusted "If you lie about that, what else are you lying about?" I don't blame him. Most men don't reply at all. I have had a few (20+) one time only dates, but there are a lot of hurt, scared men out there, or they are looking for sex alone. Or, I found myself starting to alter who I was to be acceptable - saw it, stopped it. But was surprised I would get that far. Sorry, that has been my experience. Oh, I have had many scammers. I think they try to "work" older women because they think we are lonelier and more desperate. Maybe we are. The first time I picked up a bad vibe (it took me a while because he said everything I wanted to hear), I played along and finally the money request came. I've had so many scammers, I've asked Match and Senior People Meet if they want to hire me as bait for fraud detection. It takes time to go through profiles - at least for me. I do try to find a match. I made it my "job". I finally stopped in September. The depression worsened with that experiece. I was not strong enough for the constant rejection - sometimes mean (the benefits of annonimity of a screen name).
It actually was a relief for a while. But, now I am really feeling hopeless.

hi pat, my grandpa actually remarried when he was like 65 and met his wife just a few years before that. also, i have to imagine there's single guys your age who are thinking the same thing about it's hard for them to find a partner.

I was not strong enough for the constant rejection - sometimes mean (the benefits of annonimity of a screen name).

sorry to hear about that. the way i look at that is you wouldn't want someone who would be mean like that anyway. additionally sometimes people who are miserable just be mean to other people just because they can, doesn't matter who it is, or sometimes even project their feelings onto other people.

so i feel those rejections you experienced will just end up leading you to someone better, and maybe not as far out in time as you think. also i can relate very much with feeling rejected and lonely, and sometimes the best thing is to be your best friend and just focus on things you like doing. maybe think of something you wanted to do for a while but haven't gotten around to, maybe a new activity or hobby you want to do. and who knows, maybe those things will lead to someone too. and i know your feeling hopeless now, but in time you will feel hopeful again.