Deferment for one school year

Hello, I'm here to ask for some input again.

I've tried Googling about deferring from school due to depression and the only relevant link that came up was this: http://ask.metafilter.com/171912/What-do-I-do

It really wouldn't hurt to have a variety of input, so here I am.
My situation is pretty dire, and by that I'm referring to my school work.

I'm a Year 2 student who had a 4.0 GPA in the first, though it's 3.94 at the moment.

What's worrying me is, it's only been 5 weeks since the second semester started and I've been cutting half, if not more, of my classes. It's already down to 90% and I've 12 more weeks to cover. Already approached our in-charge about my depression and given him the note from my doc, and he says even if my attendance falls below 85% (our min. standard for eligiblity for exams), the note would suffice. Of course, that doesn't make me feel any better about cutting all these classes.

Naturally, I've been unable to catch up with lessons. Under normal circumstances or even the previous year when my depression wasn't as severe, it'd be a cinch to catch up because I do enjoy immersing myself in school work and scoring the grades I deserve. However, my focus, drive and motivation are utterly lost. I don't know where they've gone, and I don't know where to find them.

I've two assignment deadlines for today and tomorrow and I'm in a nearby cafeteria from the hospital where my mom's having her heart surgery with a depleting laptop battery and I'm really, really numb.

I don't know what's happening. I don't know what I'm doing.

It'd be a load off my shoulders, even just a light one, if I can put my foot down and make a decision so that I know what to do after that. Thank you, and I'll deeply appreciate any opinions, views or input I can get.

Hi SleepyDreamGirl,

You sound very overwhelmed and numb with your depression right now. Only you can make a decision about what's best for you at this time. If defering a year means you can go back next year without the amount of stress you feel now, that sounds like a great option. Something else you can try is to study with a reduced course load so that it is easier next year as well. With treatment your depression may be better by then.

Take care, and I hope things work out for you.

Thank you for the reply, ladyswan.

Everyone's been telling me I'm the only one who can make any decision for myself and my mind's already 70% made up about deferring after weighing the pros and cons but as always, I don't actually know if it's a concious decision to embark on my first steps to recovery or to simply escape from everything at hand.

My worst fear would be the guilt and regret eating me up halfway through my year off. I do have plans such as a morning jog (sedentary lifestyle which may or may have not affected my depression) and applying for a part-time job at the local bookstore such that I do not have too much time to myself, but I'm not exactly sure as to how my feelings and mood would take a turn for the better with this schedule, or if anything would have changed by the time I return fresh for school.

Of course, I'd continue with the talk therapy though I'm strongly opposed to any kind of medication as altering my system is the last option I would resort to.