Is this some sort of depersonalization?

jacknife wrote:nvm, delete.

jacknife wrote:I have this feeling that my life has already been written and that i'm simply arbitrary scrolling the frames of my life, slide by slide.

It's like i didn't fear the present at all because i somehow already knew what the future holds; i wouldn't call it a dejavù, since i don't really have memories of my future, but i tend to see life as a static series of slides/frames. There is no beginning nor end: it has always been a static set of frames. I'm currently studying at university, but it's like i had already graduated, got a job, went living somewhere, started some random activity and lived up to X years.

It has its good sides (I'm immune to anxiety), but at times it feels weird. It's like i was ahead of time, living in the future and seeing present as it were past. Also, i don't even know what these convictions are based on; for all i know, i could die tomorrow, how can i really say that my life has already been written? Am i being over-confident? Still, i achieve the success i fantasize about and this just strengthens my convictions. It's like i was going through life with cheat codes.... or perhaps am i just being lucky and things are simply going well?




Hi, Jacknife, I sure to hope you keep on writing ! (I wish I could be you for a moment. No anxieties etc. ) Also you have a knack of explaining what you sense in a beautiful realistic way. Please keep writing, for I will follow you. Ninonn.
I feel like the observer in this picture


Is this some kind of defense mechanism related to depersonalization or what? I have to specify that i never had out of body experiences; i'm very well grounded, never once confused reality and i never felt like a stranger in my body. It's just... in the mind?