dont know what this is

Im new to this board. But ive been having some things go on that i havent been able to explain. ive been dx with borderline personality for the last 25 years.and nothing has been working. Ive been on all meds and many hospitals to no avail. But over the last year ive been zoning out . At first it wasnt too much but now its for alot longer and very frequent. I also feel very empty and ccan only experience angry and suicidal. I dont remember when i zone out and its alarming when you realize it happened and u were driving. My therapist is getting concerned. I am very suicidal and really dont know about this now or what to do.