feel like i've finally gone over the edge

If anyone has read any of my previous posts, they know i suffer, severely, from depersonalization. every moment feels like a surreal dream, that i have no part of.
it feels like everybody in the world is REALLY only capable of walking and talking; they are NOT responsible for the changes in the world around us, or the events, or the changes or events in their own lives: they just don't know it.
it seems sometimes like the rest of the world is crazy, not me.
i see people going through transitions in their lives; from bad jobs to good, professional jobs, doing something they're good at, and I shake my head, not getting how they did that. all i do is tread water, thankful that i can get through each day as it comes, thankful that i will sleep that night with a roof over my head.
i have NO plans beyond the next day, and those always only involve errands, little things. Big plans for the future are beyond me.
The world changes around us and everybody else seems to "get" that the people are responsible. No one questions the path they're on, they only say I chose it.
I'm getting off on a tangent: the point is it takes a certain mentality to succeed or even survive in this world, and i just don't seem to have it.
this is made worse by the fact of my enormous potential: if i simply "fit" into the world everyone else seems to, i would probably be a success by now. (middle age.)

Hi! I can relate to what you are saying. Some of my peers are really excelling in life. Have big important jobs that they are really interested in. I just don't understand. I never cared for working or doing anything important. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do and that unfortunately places you as an outcast in life.

I just don't understand how people achieve things sometimes. They have so much energy, ambition, drive, confidence that they just go out and do it and it works out for them. Alot of times when I have tried to do something involving OTHER people I have failed. It seems like the only time things go I want them to is when nobody is involved in it than myself.