Suddenly feel disconnected, not sure what to think...

Hi, I just joined this forum because I have been searching online for an explanation of a terrible experience I had on Friday night, 3 days ago. The term "depersonalization disorder" keeps popping up, and it does seem to fit my situation. But I've never heard of this disorder before and I'm not sure if I am just reading too much into it and scaring myself more...

So here's what happened: I was taking a shower before going over to a friend's house. I was literally in the middle of shampooing my hair when I suddenly could not remember why I was doing it, or what I was supposed to do next. I was just standing there thinking, "What am I doing? Why do I have soap in my hair?" for a good 15 minutes, and with a great amount of effort I was able to rinse off and get out of the shower.

Then I went to the mirror to shave, and I could see my face in the mirror and my hands reaching up to grab the shaving cream, and then I was lathering my face and shaving, and I still could not understand why I was doing it. I was almost painfully aware that my body was acting automatically, doing these things I've done so many times before. I had a strong sense that if I didn't have a routine to follow, I wouldn't know how to shave. I could feel myself staring at the everyday objects around me- soap, toilet paper, wastebasket- and not knowing what they were.

I was getting scared then so I stopped trying to get ready, poured myself a glass of water and sat down on the couch. This is probably the worst part for me: Suddenly I could not remember how to drink the water. I lifted the glass and tried to put it to my mouth, and dumped half of the glass down onto my shirt. My body felt physically fine, there was nothing wrong with my lips or tongue or throat. I had simply forgotten how to drink from a glass.

I sat there awhile and thought, "I should go lie down in my bed." And I WANTED to do that. I did not want to sit on the couch anymore. But my body would not respond. I could not get myself to stand up and walk to my bedroom. I kept telling myself, "Get up. Walk to your bedroom. Lie down." And nothing would happen. I started to freak out then, and I was practically yelling at myself in my mind: "GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!!!" Nothing. And then, as if in a daze, I just stood up and went to bed. I fell asleep almost immediately.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt quite a bit better, but still extremely foggy and bewildered. I could function normally again, but I was still having strange thoughts that I was not controlling the things I was doing or saying, just operating on autopilot without actually being a part of my body. The condition has gotten slowly better over the past 2 days, and today is the first day that I finally feel normal again. I am just so shocked that this has happened to me, and I haven't been able to find a satisfactory explanation of why it happened. Or worse, will it happen again?

Does this sound like DP to you guys? If not, any other ideas what it could be? I am a 26 yr old guy, I don't use drugs (I drink socially and smoke weed occasionally, but that's it) and I have never had a serious mental or health problem before...

It sure sounds like depersonalization. I get the occasional moments like you said, but I think that in my case it might have a link with caffeine and sugar. It used to happen a lot more in the past. Can you trace back something that you did before the shower that might have affected your brain, like taking a coffee with too much sugar on an empty stomac, or something along those lines?

I personally have a quite perpetual state of depersonalization, but the baseline is nowhere near what you are talking about. It could reach that point in the past, but making sure that I watch my coffee and sugar intake helped a lot with the spikes in intensity.

Hi, sanches! I think you should see a doctor, tell them everything, and ask them to test you for anything they can think of that might be causing this. It's better to be safe than sorry, remember. Don't be scared, you will find out what is going on and get better.