New here is this depersonalization or something else please

Hi I'm hoping someone can relate to me tell me what this is
I'm feeling as if this isnt my life at all like it doesnt feel right it feels odd to me not mine .
My feelings dont feel like they are mine like they feel changed/ different.
I dont feel very connected or close to my loved ones or friends, as if they dont mean that much to me anymore .

I have a history of OCD and panic disorder but they are under control at the moment.
I lost a loved one 6 months ago now and since they died I have felt like this .
I understand I'm still grieving but these feelings or sensations dont seem normal , I'm afraid of these feelings as I feel different to how it should be .

I have read up on depersonalization and derealization but I dont seem to relate to the dreamy unreality feelings ..

But this is more then anxiety because I'm not anxious..
Please help me out is this depersonalization or derealization
Much appreciated for any help here I'm so alone no one understands at all I feel crazy

It sounds like derealisation and depersonalisation when bad enough they can cause you to feel like your living in a dream. See link

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-con ... c-20352911

I don't know what you've read so I'll cover the basics. Derealisation and depersonalisation are types of dissociation. Dissociation is a normal healthy method of protecting your mind from over and under stimulation. After a traumatic event symptoms should gradually lesson to allow you to slowly process the trauma and not become overwhelmed by it.

If it's been 6 months and you are still dissociating to this degree that's not happening for some reason. It's highly likely there are intense emotions and feelings your not aware of at the moment.

I would advise you look for a T that can help you deal with what's happened one that is experienced or knowledgeable about dissociation because unfortunately not all T's understand and that or are able to help if you experience a lot of it.

Also I would advise using the dissociative identity disorder section of the forum because it's more active.