Dissociation and My Mother

Hi there! I don't know if this is the right place for this - if it isn't, I apologise! The mods can move it to wherever they see fit, with my thanks!

I have a tendency to dissociate usually through maladaptive daydreaming and distraction, but occasionally I've had the most horrid and strange feeling of unreality, like I'm in a dream. It can last for a couple of hours, but can sometimes be shifted through either having a shower, say, or meditation.

Anyway, I've been thinking about my relationship with my Mum quite a bit - we're very enmeshed, and it's not always healthy, but I'm working on it (she isn't, and won't - it's not worth even raising the subject but hey-ho!) It's been suggested that she's possibly a bit narcissistic (I'm an Avoidant - interesting mix!) and that we have an "unnatural soul-tie" which I want to break without actually ending the relationship - a tricky balance! Anyway, a couple of times lately I've had the experience of her seeming really unreal to me, like she's not really there almost like a sense of letting a balloon go & watching it float away. I know this sounds barmy!

Maybe it's because I've been ruminating on the issue so much? It's certainly weird, anyway! I'm used to feeling as if I'm unreal, but not someone else!