Depersonalization or pre-psychotic symptoms? (trigger)

Hi, this is my second post.
I have depression, with both depersonalization and derealization and I've seen a psychiatrist some months ago.
Now it's been four years I'm not good, I've been on xanax and zoloft but they made me feel horrible so I quitted medicine.

You know, how difficult life can be with depersonalization. I mean, I get this feeling all the time, every single second of my life I feel like I don't belong to my body, and earth is such a strange place. Everything is dream-like. I hate to touch objects, because the feeling of the texture is so bad.
Reality has completely changed. And people are telling me to be strong(?), to don't have fear (who has) and waiting for it to go away?!

However, this was to explain a bit the situation, my answer was, when you are convinced that all this isn't real, does it is still depersonalization or somewhat else?

I have thoughts like - people are like robots, they don't have a soul, they believe they are real but they're not, and this makes me feel so alone -

I mean, these things sound so true to me, If I think of my life before I had depersonalization, that piece of my life is insignificant. Yes, I was fine before, but it's like I was a robot.

The paradox is that now, that I'm depersonalized, things look unreal, but I 'feel' like they are real;

before depersonalization things looked real, but I feel like they weren't.
Ok, now I stop because I'm getting stuck in this matrix world and this post it's too long.
What do you think?

Joan Lee9 wrote:...

Hi. I've dealt with similar things. I recommend Zen meditation - see if you can see what the world looks like/how it feels without all the noisy thoughts in your head about how it doesn't feel real or it seems dreamlike etc.

Just my two cents.

Also FYI: There is no recorded evidence of souls ever existing anytime or anywhere at all. Just let that sink in for a moment

This piece helps to illustrate the point and also is a nice bit of comic relief:
http://www.terrybisson.com/page6/page6.html

oh yes that's funny but also interesting, thanks for sharing
Yes I've tried meditation, and it's good when you have so many thoughts in mind, but I don't do it always... I'm too lazy hahaha..
this is not good

However, about all the philosophical stuff, I don't know, maybe it's just a personal way to think, but it would be fine to find people in everyday life who think the same, maybe it's just this fact that makes some of us feel bad about it