Has anyone else felt this way since the start?

Derelization
I know this is a depersonlization fourm but I feel as though they're pretty similiar I've experienced both since as far back as I can remember.

I read your posts on here and it seems like most of you get it later in life.


Has anyone else had DP and DR all their life?

There was never a starting point for me it's just been this way always. I remember being 4 years old and feeling so disconnected from this world.

No one understood when I explained it they just gave me a funny look and told me to stop it.

I try telling doctors they don't get it either.

Comparing Derelization and Depersonlization (for me personally.) I would rather be DP it just makes me feel like my body isn't mines and I can't reconize myself I rather feel that way then have DR every single waking hour not knowing where I am half the time forgetting things.

Driving me insane...

Not to say DP isn't bad (this is just how I feel personally seems to be different for everyone but similiar.)

I've felt this way from the start. I suffer more from depersonalization rather than derealization, although I do suffer from both. I remember one time when I was around 6 years telling my mom that I didn't feel like my body and my thoughts were my own. I told her it's like I'm sitting in a movie theater and watching my life go by on a big screen. She was pretty concerned, but she didn't really know what to make of it. In elementary school I would go to the counselors office and try to tell her what I was feeling, but she just thought I had an over active imagination. I finally got officially diagnosed with DPD when I was around 15. I was so happy that I finally had some kind of answer, but I was also disappointed because they told me there was basically nothing they could do for me. After researching it for hours on end I discovered that most people develop DPD or DRD after a traumatic event, such as abuse, or some kind of physical accident, even bad drug trips. I guess it's not very common for people to develop it at a very young age.

So, I've had it since I can remember and I've been diagnosed with it for about 10 years now. It's gotten somewhat better, just from being able to understand it. But I still have days pretty often when I just feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. I feel like my life isn't mine. It can be very difficult to cope with at times.

Sorry for the rant, I just joined this forum and your post was the first one that I saw. I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone, having this from such a young age.

I started having those feelings when I was very young, I only remembered telling my brother that my hands and room didn't feel like mine. I think I was around 6 when I started noticing no one else really had those spells, and I decided to keep it to myself and now I only really talk about it with my boyfriend, who's had a similar expieriences. It's difficult to go through when you're surrounded by people, I remember feeling miles away while i was working my first job, with plenty of things to do and people talking to me and just thinking "they don't know they can't tell there's anything wrong with me they just probably think I'm tired" even though everything in the room was just shrinking and growing in size and not looking like it's really there. It sounds crazy because it is crazy, but no one hears crazy and thinks they're safe or normal, but I just do my best to accept how I feel is normal and that it's valid to feel like your idenity isn't something that's solid or permanent because we're always changing and we always are and aren't connected to the people and world around us.

I did experience a lot of abuse as a child, I've kept track of those feelings of dpd (i have a lot of disorders) and I think they have triggers. I experience them more when I'm stressed and a lot of my life is changing (getting my first job whipe my parents finally divorce)or I realize a lot of time has passed in my life if that makes sense. It's scary when it's there, no matter how manly times you do through it or how intense. I hope my honesty helps.

I also just joined today, I think talking and reading could be very useful for me to cope, since therapy is too expensive and sometimes insincere.