I'm just really conflicted and need advice *may trigger*

Admittedly, it's that time of the month for me.
The same time where all my mental issues decide to heighten.

Lately, I've been feeling even more split than I normally do. I haven't been diagnosed with DID/MPD, but then again, I haven't been diagnosed with anything (even though I go to therapy 3 times a week, used to be on 75mg of Zoloft, and am now on 10mg of Prozac for my crippling anxiety).

I have instances where things feel like they're not real, where I'll look at myself in the mirror and not recognize myself, where I'll look at my limbs and not recognize them or feel like they're detached from me, where everything will literally seem just out of reach/I see as if I'm pulled back from reality, etc. My anger has also been...high, lately. Or rather my homicidal urges. I normally think about death/people dying, but lately the physical urges have started to increase. I'm so easily irritated now that I have to restrain myself from turning around and stabbing those who annoy me. I also adore daydreaming about, well, homicide. It probably sounds like I'm just some homicidal person, but there's more to it. It's a whole other side of me. I mean, yea, personally, I wouldn't murder anyone, but I'd be okay if I did. It's just the morals between us that are different. She's (I'm transgender, so I'm a he, but she's a she) care-free (in the bad way), apathetic, cynical, etc. I'm caring, kind, sympathetic, etc. We're polar opposites. I'm afraid of people, she wants to kill them.

We're both introverts, though. When I take the 16personalities quiz, I get INFP-T, but when she takes it, she gets INTJ-A. That probably doesn't mean anything.

Well, I can't really explain any of it very well...I know I should at least be evaluated for something. My mom is home so I can't explain any further, anyways...

Hey there,

I wanted to acknowledge this post since it hasn't been acknowledged yet. You had asked if you needed to be evaluated for anything? Do you think your therapist would be helpful giving you advice about any sort of evaluation?

I'm new to therapy myself but I know some therapists are really great where others don't do anything. My sister has been working on our childhood in therapy for 20 years and still feels crippled by it. I know my own path will be lifelong but I think I'd be dead if I hadn't started therapy last year. I'm trans too by the way.