So detached

My and Lost's banter is now dead, little was learned and a comment related to something i know more then you can fathom about was met with the question of what my affliction is. Which was totally unrelated.

This site not being a club or group. I nor anyone is expected to provide there diagnosis' or speculated affliction/s in order to be heard, helped or accepted. Or for input to be valid. And providing it dosent get you a stamp on your hand and a welcome basket. It has no relation to the topic we are speaking of.

I know most people share that curiosity and thought. But having that and wishing for employment to inact it based upon that are very different thing's. I'm sure you can dechipher the differences.

By the way lost is a her.

So basicly think of me what you will. If not knowing my diagnosis' somehow make's my comment un-valid to you then oh well.

...i knew he wasn't willing to share anything anyways Zander, but good try. some ppl only offer comments & criticisms, but no personal experiences, i find it VERY frustrating! but whatever, no need to beat a clearly dead horse

On the contrary. I am willing to share. and i have with select people. Including personal experinces.

If you can provide a reason other then curiosity that i should i will.

But if your not interested then dont ask.

One reason is i know people on this site from outside of it. And some in real life. I'm not comfterble with them knowing all my layer's.

Oh dear,

I see this all to often on this board. People engage in pointless arguments to try and prove superiority rather than have an intellectual debate around the issues I have raised here.


This is one of the benefits of being depersonalized. I can remove myself from the argument emotionally and therefore do not rise to petty attempts to rile opposing members.

Anyway,

I do not kill things by choice. I like to regard myself as a peaceful man.

However. If the situation arose. I would without a doubt do whatever I had to to ensure my safety.


In regards to Losts comment, I believe she meant to say she can see a job involving killing etc as a strong possibility to her over "normal" people as she feels mentally strong enough to dehumanize herself enough to take anothers creatures life with no moral backlash.

I dont think she necessarily indicated that she liked to kill.



I have had therapy and am undergoing further therapy now.

To no avail.

The damage to me has already been done.


I reccomend going to see your GP first. Explain your condition/thoughts. He should reccomend you to a therapist.

They will blank/fob you off if you attempt direct contact with the therapist in my experience.

I am going through a court case claiming compensation for an accident resulting in me losing an eye.

This has required me to take psychoanalitical testing. This is where I was diagnosed with several disorders.


I care little for these labels however I have myself become concerned with the effect this mental thought path will have on my life.

Olson I do not appreciate the way you have found it necessary to post a derogatory comment about a member of this board on a thread that had nothing to do with yourself.

We all feel differently and this is a mental health disorder support forum.

This should be a forum where we can all speak our minds without fear of repercussions.

I find it especially inappropriate seeing as you are a moderator and by definition of responsibility as one should be discouraging this sort of behaviour.

Perhaps you misunderstand the purpose of this board.

I would request that you keep all personally directed comments off this board as they have no positive outcome and will distract users from the topic of this thread.

If you wish to challenge me intellectually however. I will be more than happy to oblige you. It keeps me sharp.

I warn you however. You may not like the outcome.

If any members would like to discuss their feelings with me regarding their life and thoughts about anything in general. I would be happy to listen.

I find it helps me to learn about others similar thoughts/experiences.

I'm sorry you see thing's that way.

Depersonalization dosent occur by choice so removing yourself emotionally would be more of an act of indifference. Depersonalization is a form of dissasociation and is often stated as unpleasant. But if there are benefit's to you then i'm glad. Yet your comment's stated above wouldnt be worth stating.

"However. If the situation arose. I would without a doubt do whatever I had to to ensure my safety."

So your much like every human being on earth.

"I believe she meant to say she can see a job involving killing etc as a strong possibility to her over "normal" people as she feels mentally strong enough to dehumanize herself enough to take anothers creatures life with no moral backlash."

Dehumanizing one's self, hmm. I think you mean desensitizing. Dehumanizing is the experience of feelings of loss of a sense of reality. A sufferer feels that he or she has changed and the world has become less real — it is vague, dreamlike, or lacking in significance. Which counter's the difference in an interest to kill, and wanting employment for it. Lost is self a self diagnosed NPD/HPD who has boasted about manipulations, not some poor sufferer. You've glossed over the difference between idle curiosity and willing interest. So if your going to puff up your chest and make accusations then stick to the point.

"I dont think she necessarily indicated that she liked to kill."

And i cant recall anyone saying she had. Keep sharpening lad.

"I have had therapy and am undergoing further therapy now.

To no avail.

The damage to me has already been done."

I'm sorry to hear that. Depersonalization is often a symptom of borderline personality disorder, which can be treated in the long term with proper psychotherapy and psychopharmacology.

"Vitamins and minerals such as Omega 3 Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Zinc, Iron, Vitamin B6, have all been reported to lessen and in some rare cases, eradicate the feelings of derealization and depersonalization. Proper nutrition and regular exercise are invaluable methods used to reduce anxiety and to raise your mood. All stimulants should be avoided, as they are more likely to create more anxiety, and thus more feelings of derealization and depersonalization."

"Olson I do not appreciate the way you have found it necessary to post a derogatory comment about a member of this board on a thread that had nothing to do with yourself."

A: I am a dissasociative.
B: I grew up killing animals.
C: There are no member's of board's, only the site.
D: If i had stated i felt i was able to kill without remorse. So wanted to be shipped to iraq where i'd be employed to do so i would expect some kind of response. I felt wanting employment to kill animals based upon the feeling one could without being remorseful was sad.

"and by definition of responsibility as one should be discouraging this sort of behaviour."

My job is to keep the peace, delete spam and be supportive/insightful when i can. But moderator's were once regular poster who were here for there own set of issues. My comment was an appropriate reaction. What was not appropriate was the attempts to have me explain whatever may be wrong with me in some form of justification because i disagreed and felt that was sad.

"I would request that you keep all personally directed comments off this board"

Request denied. If poster's have an issues with one another or a moderator then they can take it to PM.

"If you wish to challenge me intellectually however. I will be more than happy to oblige you. It keeps me sharp.

I warn you however. You may not like the outcome."

I could tell. But i'm not here to challenge you, I havent directed a comment toward's you infact. But you reacted to thing's i'd said as i had to someone's else. If you've any further issue's then feel free to PM me and voice them. Otherwise continue with your topic.

"Depersonalization dosent occur by choice so removing yourself emotionally would be more of an act of indifference. Depersonalization is a form of dissasociation and is often stated as unpleasant. But if there are benefit's to you then i'm glad. Yet your comment's stated above wouldnt be worth stating."

I beg to differ. I have the ability to make my depersonalisation very strong at times for example when I am pushing my body through considerable physical pain e.g. a very intense workout.

I have found that during these intense work outs I can trigger this depersonalisation which helps me go through a lot of the pain barriers my body sends to me.

In effect the only way I fail whilst in that mind state is physically. I do not register what is going on only that I must carry on working at maximal force.

This is a benefit of having DP disorder in my view.


"However. If the situation arose. I would without a doubt do whatever I had to to ensure my safety."

So your much like every human being on earth.

I also would beg to differ on this point also.

May I ask if you have ever been in a life threatening situation before?

If you have then you will know that most civilians nowadays get so strongly feared by an out of the ordinary dangerous situation that their mental faculties are severly impaired and a lot of the time render them similar to "fox caught in headlights".

The point I was trying to make was that If a similar situation occurs to me I do not get the "fox in headlights effect" and due to depersonalising I lose the fear of losing my own life and will think logically to get out of almost any situation.

Im sure you will agree that most DP "trips" occur when we are faced by severe problems/traumas.




"I believe she meant to say she can see a job involving killing etc as a strong possibility to her over "normal" people as she feels mentally strong enough to dehumanize herself enough to take anothers creatures life with no moral backlash."

Dehumanizing one's self, hmm. I think you mean desensitizing. Dehumanizing is the experience of feelings of loss of a sense of reality. A sufferer feels that he or she has changed and the world has become less real — it is vague, dreamlike, or lacking in significance. Which counter's the difference in an interest to kill, and wanting employment for it. Lost is self a self diagnosed NPD/HPD who has boasted about manipulations, not some poor sufferer. You've glossed over the difference between idle curiosity and willing interest. So if your going to puff up your chest and make accusations then stick to the point.

Ok to make my point clearer.

I believe she was stating that she feels she could cope with her causing death easier because she can take the "human element" out of her persona when the situation requires such action. (as was my understanding from her statement). This to me is Depersonalising. I.e. You are not your self when you partake in such actions because to do such an action without mentally shielding yourself would be damaging to your moral state of mind or mental health in general.

"I dont think she necessarily indicated that she liked to kill."

And i cant recall anyone saying she had. Keep sharpening lad.

I believe you said that it was sad that she wanted a job killing things.

That's pretty sad. You want a job killing because you feel your capable of doing it. were your exact words.

Would you care to explain why you think it is sad that she "wants a job killing things just because she feels she is capable of doing so"

I think its more the way you said it than what you said that made me "puff up my chest".


"I have had therapy and am undergoing further therapy now.

To no avail.

The damage to me has already been done."

I'm sorry to hear that. Depersonalization is often a symptom of borderline personality disorder, which can be treated in the long term with proper psychotherapy and psychopharmacology.

"Vitamins and minerals such as Omega 3 Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Zinc, Iron, Vitamin B6, have all been reported to lessen and in some rare cases, eradicate the feelings of derealization and depersonalization. Proper nutrition and regular exercise are invaluable methods used to reduce anxiety and to raise your mood. All stimulants should be avoided, as they are more likely to create more anxiety, and thus more feelings of derealization and depersonalization."

I am not qualified to comment on any of the possible DP causes such as chemical imbalances etc. However I believe that in my case it is not to do with a chemical imbalance as I am in perfect health and have a very full diet (with many if not all of the above stated).and believe that my case is considerably more mental than physical.


"Olson I do not appreciate the way you have found it necessary to post a derogatory comment about a member of this board on a thread that had nothing to do with yourself."

A: I am a dissasociative.
B: I grew up killing animals.
C: There are no member's of board's, only the site.
D: If i had stated i felt i was able to kill without remorse. So wanted to be shipped to iraq where i'd be employed to do so i would expect some kind of response. I felt wanting employment to kill animals based upon the feeling one could without being remorseful was sad.

A. So you should understand.
B. So why do you think it is sad?
C. This is a forum, bullitin board, website. All these names are acceptable.
D. Absolutley. Just not a derogatory one. If you think that killing animals without remorse is sad then is it safe to presume that you are a vegetarian?

Taking life is a neccesary part of this world. It has happened throughout the existance of life itself and it is only now that people start to feel sad for the killings.

It is only unnessecary killings that are sad. e.g. unprovoked murders. To put it simply, killing for the sake of killing is sad.

Killing to survive/aid others survival is not. Any other involvement of emotions or pity for the way the world works I believe is a delusion from reality.

"and by definition of responsibility as one should be discouraging this sort of behaviour."

My job is to keep the peace,

Your logic entails posting such comments as to spark an argument between several members of this board and yourself?

delete spam and be supportive/insightful when i can.

How did your first comment qualify as either supportive or insightful?


But moderator's were once regular poster who were here for there own set of issues.

This in my mind is a bad idea as it creates bias and improffesionalism amongst those in power. This leads to personal vindications and bannings just because of a disagreement in a point of view.

A moderator in my view is an adjudicator. Who analyses the views of two parties separate from himself and makes an unbias judgement of who is correct.

My comment was an appropriate reaction.

As a regular member perhaps slightly inconsiderate but yes.
As a moderator, no

What was not appropriate was the attempts to have me explain whatever may be wrong with me in some form of justification because i disagreed and felt that was sad.

I am not interested in what is wrong with you. I mearly stated that I thought it was an inappropriate use of language as a moderator.

"I would request that you keep all personally directed comments off this board"

Request denied. If poster's have an issues with one another or a moderator then they can take it to PM.

Perhaps I should have used the word thread instead of boardand perhaps I should have said could you please not post provocative statements with a strong probability of creating "bad vibes" within this community.




"If you wish to challenge me intellectually however. I will be more than happy to oblige you. It keeps me sharp.

I warn you however. You may not like the outcome."

I could tell. But i'm not here to challenge you,

Your language suggests differently.

"puff up my chest" (provocative)

"Keep sharpening lad." (patronising)


I havent directed a comment toward's you infact.

No you haven't. Instead of getting involved in this thread that was created by me you thought it neccesary to comment on another with a serious mind to debate and share feelings with me.

But you reacted to thing's i'd said as i had to someone's else.

Not in a derogatory way and you needed correcting.

If you've any further issue's then feel free to PM me and voice them. Otherwise continue with your topic.


I find it unlikely that that will happen now as you have destroyed the intended focus of my thread with your argument with myself and lost.

People who read this thread will be distracted and want to become personally involved by stating their opinions on "who is right" etc instead of commenting on similar expeiriences described in the very first post.

That is another reason why I stated what I have against you.

I hope you understand.

Well we disagree. If you'd like i can arange for all post's beside's the initial two to be removed. Or for the topic to be closed. It's your thread so it's your call.

But i'm not going to continue to engage you in this little banter. I already told you to PM me if you've an issue. And there i'll be happy to answer your question's.

*sigh* Olson, are you sure you suffer from depersonalisation? Because you show absolutely no accurate understanding of what it really is, and that makes me wonder a bit. Not only that but your facts are wayyyy off. You know a lot about sociopathy and psychopathy but when it comes to anything else you're always way off. I have read tons and tons and tons of books on psychiatry and psychology and i am VERY instructed on everything related to these 2 sciences. DP is a result of extreme anxiety and trauma, not necessarily BPD. It is a defense mechanism that detaches you from yourself and your emotions to protect you from the harm you would feel if you weren't depersonalised and hence Horioz is very right when he says that due to his DP he would not panic if faced with a life threatening situation and instead would think logically to resolve the problem. This is a very common thing for someone who suffers from DP. DP sufferers are very often apathetic and do not react much, which makes sense because since they suffer from DP, they barely have any emotions, and obviously when you barely have any emotions then you barely have any reactions as well. BPD sufferers do not often suffer from DP, and when they do it is not due to their BPD, borderline people are instable and their sense of self and identity fluctuate a lot, but fluctuation in an identity and an internal emptiness or a detachment from yourself is not the same thing.

And BTW, dehumanizing = destruction of a person's sense of ethics and morality.
Desensitizing = loss of sensibility towards whatever it may be, whether it be social situations, a sense of alienation, whatever.
What you talked about is called derealization.

Ok.

Now that we have cleared that up I feel we can continue with the discussion around the thread I started.

I think we should probably leave the posts up there. It has attracted a few comments and we are gradually steering back towards the DP area.


@ zander.

I find that with DP in effect in a life threatening situation/emotionally damaging situation my ethics and morality also go out of the window to aid a logical solution.

This is why I tend to pair the phrases "dehumanizing" and "depersonalizing".


I agree with you though that I was not 100% clear and am glad that you agree with me about the issue in general.

So a few opening questions:



What experiences have you guys had suffering/experiencing from DP?


What are your views on its effects on your life?


Have you noticed any significant changes in the way people treat you (knowing that you have dp and those that dont but think you are odd etc.)

Who is a GP?

my comment more had the underlying "if nothing is sacred i will destroy everything vibe"