this disorder is scary

i've had depersonalisation non-stop for 3 years and i hate it. i'm too scared to go to the doctor, partly because i think i have other issues and i don't want to find out what exactly is wrong with me. and i'm scared they won't know what it is, and i'm scared that any help they give WON'T help...
and i really want to just give in but i can't hurt the people i love.
this is just really really hard to "live" with.

Hello and welcome to the forums! Going to the doctor can be hard, but it really can help. Can I ask why you don't want to know what is wrong with you? Once you know you can try to find ways to make things better.

I hope everything is going well for you. If you have an questions or just need a place to vent we're here for you.

Thank you. I'm debating going, but I'm honestly scared. (I can't for the next month anyway, I'm in a foreign country). I guess part of me is worried that I'll find out something really bad is wrong with me - or something unfixable. or that everything they try won't work and I'll just be stuck like this.

Thank you. I'm really hoping it'll help.

Good luck! I can understand being scared, I was scared too, but my therapist was was good and helped me to feel at ease with it all. Even if it's something that's not curable alot of times they'll be able to help you live with it and find ways to make things easier. Either way, you'll never find out if you don't go right?

Hope you're doing well!

That's a very natural response, the fear of finding out what might really be wrong, that no one will be able to help anyway. Depersonalization is more likely to be developmental and environmental rather than biological. So help for you is probable, meaning you don't have to be stuck in your current experience forever. I don't know of many conditions that get better by not dealing with them. You probably know that logically but it's worth repeating. If you do have other issues, you can deal learn to deal with them over time. Don't sell yourself short, you can deal with whatever is there.

Depersonalization is a sign of mental trauma; best to get to a doctor and find out what is going on.

@Partial: Thank you!
I've pretty much decided I'm going to go to the doctor when I go to University, which is mid-September. I'll have my boyfriend's support, since he's going there too, and that'll make it easier.

@Johnny-Jack: Yeah, logically I know getting help is going to be good. Logic doesn't seem to apply to emotions though. Thank you, I really hope I can learn to deal with this.

@Omnicell: Hopefully going to the doctor will help, yeah. I'm trying to be optimistic.

hellainsocks wrote:Thank you. I'm debating going, but I'm honestly scared. (I can't for the next month anyway, I'm in a foreign country). I guess part of me is worried that I'll find out something really bad is wrong with me - or something unfixable. or that everything they try won't work and I'll just be stuck like this.

Thank you. I'm really hoping it'll help.

Based on what you just said, you are living your own worst case scenario and seeing someone for therapy could only potentially improve on your situation. I think odds are that therapy and/or medication will provide some improvement from your current situation because it so commonly has proven effective for others who have a very wide variety of conditions.

There is no getting worse because you find out more of what you have, however the opposite is most often true, people realize they have some specific common malady shared by many many others and that has been proven to be something that can be treated.

Definitely reach out for help, I think you will feel lots better when you do.

Thank you.

hellainsocks wrote:i've had depersonalisation non-stop for 3 years and i hate it. i'm too scared to go to the doctor, partly because i think i have other issues and i don't want to find out what exactly is wrong with me. and i'm scared they won't know what it is, and i'm scared that any help they give WON'T help...
and i really want to just give in but i can't hurt the people i love.
this is just really really hard to "live" with.

m8 keep ya head up and find a higher power