Do you share these DP traits?

I listed some traits about myself having DP and am wondering how many of you also have these perticular traits. Heres the list:

-feels a lot of guilt
-addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others
-fear of negative emotions
-lack of assertiveness and ability to say "no"
-Blurry sense of identity and low personal boundries
-low self-reliance
-external locus of control
-denial of self-victimization
-submissive and/or dependant personality
-Obsess over other peoples behaviour constantly
-is the grandchild of an alcoholic(s)
-unjustified self-blaming
-tendency to be secretive
-"all or nothing" thinking (black and white)
-making "should be" statements (I "should" be this, I "should" be that)
-over-generalization
-magnification or minimalization of problems

redrows64 wrote:I listed some traits about myself having DP and am wondering how many of you also have these perticular traits. Heres the list:

-feels a lot of guilt
-addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others
-fear of negative emotions
-lack of assertiveness and ability to say "no"
-Blurry sense of identity and low personal boundries
-low self-reliance
-external locus of control
-denial of self-victimization
-submissive and/or dependant personality
-Obsess over other peoples behaviour constantly
-is the grandchild of an alcoholic(s)
-unjustified self-blaming
-tendency to be secretive
-"all or nothing" thinking (black and white)
-making "should be" statements (I "should" be this, I "should" be that)
-over-generalization
-magnification or minimalization of problems

I bolded the ones I feel most apply to me. However, I do have some comments to make on some of them. All the ones I bolded (except the alcoholic one) are all deeply connected for me. Because my depersonalization started at a pretty young age (I'd say late preteens - early teens) and lasted for a pretty long time afterwards, I never developed a reliable sense of self. This led me to constantly rely on others and mimic them, obsessing over their behaviour. It's how I attempted to develop a sense of self. It would be interesting to see if others have similar experiences and coped the same way I did.

-feels a lot of guilt
Not really, I don't feel much at all in fact, only seem to catch the extremes.....

-addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others
I think.... maybe.... hard for me to tell....

-fear of negative emotions
Don't really have much of that I think, I do try to avoid them, but everyone does....

-lack of assertiveness and ability to say "no"
Do see that in myself alot of times

-Blurry sense of identity and low personal boundries
yep yep yep

-low self-reliance
ADHD makes it hard to be self reliant, I'm learning though

-external locus of control
not sure (not sure what you mean by this)

-denial of self-victimization
No, but I could be denying it (seriously, I maight be, it's hard to tell for me)

-submissive and/or dependant personality
not really

-Obsess over other peoples behaviour constantly
barely even notice others behavior

-is the grandchild of an alcoholic(s)
nope

-unjustified self-blaming
I get the feeling yes by the amount of times I apologize every day

-tendency to be secretive
very yes

-"all or nothing" thinking (black and white)
not that I notice, I tend to think of this as a borderline thing

-making "should be" statements (I "should" be this, I "should" be that)
no, I am whatever I am for as long as I am it (if that makes any sense)

-over-generalization
Yeah

-magnification or minimalization of problems
Maybe a little


If you're up to it my journal is a pretty good summary of how it is for me.

-feels a lot of guilt
-not really

-addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others
-issues with saying no, passive.

-fear of negative emotions
-doesn't it seem that most people would fear negative emotions?

-lack of assertiveness and ability to say "no"
-issues with saying no, passive.

-Blurry sense of identity and low personal boundries
-I don't stay in any friendships or groups long enough to recognize that I have something in common with someone. I might feel similar to another person, but I never connect enough with them to prove whether or not my feelings have any truth. I have impairment in some of my brain's executive functions.

-low self-reliance
- Yes

-external locus of control
-mostly yes

-denial of self-victimization
-yes

-submissive and/or dependant personality
-I'm very passive. for example, when I start watching something interesting on TV and someone comes to join me, and they ask what I'm watching, I'll just assume that they're displeased with whatever I'm watching and I'll tell them but then I'll say that I'm not watching it, so that they can watch whatever they want.

-Obsess over other peoples behaviour constantly
-no

-is the grandchild of an alcoholic(s)
-Don't know

-unjustified self-blaming
-I consider myself a perfectionist.

-tendency to be secretive
-yes

-"all or nothing" thinking (black and white)
-yes

-making "should be" statements (I "should" be this, I "should" be that
often

-over-generalization
yes

-magnification or minimalization of problems
not sure what this means