Floating in numb oblivion

I've had DPD for 4.5 f***ing years! I got it when I smoked weed the first time at age 16 and I'll be 21 next week. I am just floating in a fog. How is anyone supposed to enjoy life this way? I can't feel anything. I can't sense the passage of time. It's bulls**t. I feel like a mind without a body and like I'm stuck watching a really bad movie. The only thing I enjoy is sleep except when I have dreams about DP. I overthink everything. What the hell do I do to feel real and normal again? I'm a ghost.

I can not help you. I can only say that I feel the same. Sometimes it's so strong I can not control my own actions, and sometimes things are normal, but I'm often somewhere in between. I write (when I'm not too "blocked" to do it) and after that I feel better, maybe that might help you as well. Anyhow, hold on. Maybe it gets better with time. At least, we don't have to feel pain or something... my shrink told me that's how 80% of girls in prisons say they feel... OK, I don't really know what to say, I just feel sorry for you and understand you and hope you get better...