issues starting depersonalization

So i've been living with depersonalization for maybe four months now and it started out as just occasional attacks (that are a whole lot worse than just the disorder) but the weirdest thing that i dont understand with the attacks is the first time i ever experienced an attack was while i was smoking cannabis, but it wasn't my first time doing it though. (i dont do it often either, like only every few months really) and when i tried to smoke it every so often after that one time, like i usually do, it was always another attack so then i stopped smoking all together. But, I do know what has caused my depersonalization to happen. Its because of some major relationship problems i experienced after i broke up with my ex. (Now some of you may not believe it was serious, or may think that it wasn't as bad as it really was, but trust me, if I could change this all, I surely would.) For 6 months now since our break up, my ex tries to talk to me everyyyy day since, telling me how much he misses me, telling me how constantly sad he is, and how he STILL loves me. Over the summer, he attempted to kill himself 4 times. Each time, i stopped him. So now, I even had to block him on facebook because we constantly argue back and forth every single day on there. Now if he has to talk to me, its through tumblr messaging which is a whole lot better for me, but not for him. I tell him every single day for us to just be friends and that i seriously cant handle this arguing and stressing all the time! But it never works out. We continue arguing after maybe a day of normal talking. But the only reason i still put up with his crap is because i'm one of his only friends, and i still care for him because we had a very close relationship. ...Sorry i typed so much if anyone really reads all of this, i'm just trying to let this out i guess.

I'm sorry to hear things are difficult for you right now.
I'm glad you could come here and talk about how you are feeling.

Have you considered talking to a professional about how you are doing? It can help to have someone to talk to and who can help you better understand how to handle everything and what is going on

well i would but i don't have health insurance right now ): i've tried to find someplace to go that is maybe cheaper than a $500 visit to just the doctor's office but now i am having to wait til it's required by obamacare to have insurance so then i'll maybe have it so i could see someone. but thank you so much for replying!!!

I hope you will get some help soon then Some T's give discounts or have sliding fee scales if you call them, just so I've mentioned it. Calling them and seeing what they say and letting them know that you don't have the funds to pay the full price is okay, and can be worth it if you're really struggling. Just something to have said

I hope you have a good new year