Do I have DPD?

My mom was a serious drinker until I was about twelve years old. I learned to take care of my brother, do everything on my own. I've met with a therapist, and she told me I became something like a parentified child or something. I grew extremely independent from my mother, as anyone could expect, and now, four years later, my mom's sober, and I thought everything would work out. But now, I find myself looking from the outside in, like everyone else has it figured out and knows what to do. They know how to feel, and I'm stuck here on the sidelines, feeling like everything is just an act. I don't feel "love" or anything like that. My friends all talk about their crushes or whatever, and I've never felt that, just like an obligation to fit in.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should get a therapist, or if I should talk to someone about it, but no one gets it when I say I'm emotionally unavailable. Is this Depersonalization Disorder, or am I making all this up?

I don't think you're making this all up, but i understand how that feels.
If you think you should get a therapist, then you probably should.
I don't believe it's OK to not be able to feel ('Love').
You do sound like you are experiencing dissociation from your emotions, but I wouldn't dream of trying to tell you what is wrong with you. Maybe just look for a therapist that understands dissociation.

My mum wasn't a drinker, but she wasn't a mother either... It's not easy growing up without that caring ('Mother') figure in your life, you then have to be a mother to yourself.

Hope that helps.

F.