New need help

Hi
So I've been browsing this forum for a while now and finally got around to joining. I'm freaking out, feel like I'm losing my mind,very scared. In a severe depressive episode due to the loss of the person that I was emotionally dependant on. He left for the US a year ago but I've been clinging to his e-mails, now he tells me he's got a girlfriend, getting married. I can't let on how bad this is as I still have to work. On antidpressants for a few days only. Can't really talk to anyone. Now starting to worry that I might be mildly psychotic, can't sleep. Help.

nothing, I think your best option to grab at this point is the one as follows: Only look forward in your life now and leave the past in the previous chapter. I believe stringly that deleting his email address and phone number is a good thing to do too; as is changing your own email. It is sad, but he cannot be of benefot to you anymore
I think. If he stays in your life, he is only a source of sadness; which is why you must move on.

What do you think?

Kevin

Hi

Yes rationally I know that's the best course but I don't know if i can do it, I'm not good at making friends. The thing is that at this point I'm really more concerned about my own head as this is not the first time I've had this kind of reaction. It's also about my behaviours with other people and my thinking, which is so skewed. My life is a mess basically. I feel hopeless. I seem to lack the ability to connect properly with people also to just get on and DO things. Anyway not thinking straight really at the minute. Been depressed on and off since I was 12 (OCD since 13), but realised a while back there is something else going on, which I reckon is DPD. Going to the GP this week, hopefully I can get help for this. Thanks.

Just the fact that you realize something is wrong and that you need help is really encouraging. Going to the GP is a good first step, and while you are there, ask for a recommendation for a counsellor. Even if they can't/won't give you a recommendation, keep trying. You can contact your local Pathways or your health insurance provider for recommendations. Also, if needed, you can go to your local ER.

I don't know enough about you OR about DPD to evaluate; just keep in mind that it's really hard to self-diagnose. But, you are obviously "at least" (not to minimize it) having a severe depressive episode and need to make sure you get help ASAP.

best wishes. c

Good luck at the GP. As I read your post though, it's apparent that it's not just the break-up that's bothering you. So, do'nt blame that for all. You've alluded to other things in your life that aren't right, and those must be addressed too. i'm sure you will do so. Don't worry about letting her go and having no friends for now. You still have your family and a doctor who will be caring Im sure. Regard this as a turning point in yuor life. You can reinvent yourself from here on.

Kevin