Question about DPD and death- Help for a friend.

My best friend shows very strong signs of DPD(such as major self sarcifice to please others, no self worth, and allowing others to make pretty much all decisions for her) and within the last year and a half she has lost the two people she was most dependent on for major life decisions and for her self worth. I was wodering how those of you suffering from this disorder would/have reacted to the death of someone very close to you? Also for those of you who have witnessed someone with DPD expierence and deal with death how did thay react? Is there any warning signs I should be on the look out for?

Thanks for your time and information.

Hi,

I exhibit some traits of this disorder, but I have never lost someone really close to me. I guess, if it happened, I would feel very lost for a long time, but I would eventually find someone else to depend on in my life. There are many people out there who are happy to sit back and let others make decisions for them, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, if everyone tried to make decisions themselves, then there would be more conflicts surely.

Did your friend recently lose someone close to her? I suggest that you simply try to be her friend, and not her counsellor or anything. Plus, just ask her every now and then if there's anything that you can help her with. Don't let her become completely dependent on you though.

Kevin

I have DPD and I also suffer from Jealous Delusional Disorder. I also lost my husband 2 years ago (who I was extremely dependent upon) and I am here to say it was the most terrible thing I have ever experienced in my life. I am now suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on top of everything. I hurt, so badly, and I feel like when he died, I entered into the twigh-light zone, whereby everyone on this side (after his death) are bad people and life will never been the same again - and it won't. Feel free to give your friend my email address. It is lovinguiseasy@comcast.net and tell her she is not alone, that I too have experienced the same thing and I have some advice to give her. How is she doing? I can tell you what I did right and the mistakes I've made since I lost my husband. Before my husband passed, he said, "honey, if you've learned anything from this experience, hopefully it's to become more self reliant than maybe you have been before". I have him videotaped saying this to me. I hurt and she is not alone.

I'm in similar situation. I'm dependent on my mom, but now she's very ill with cancer and there seems to very little hope around. In this old post, which has good advice I didn't take, you'll see that I've been very dependent and lazy:
http://www.psychforums.com/dependent-personality/topic18101.html

The disharmony and dysfunctional nature in my household has never been more apparent. Also, in these hard times people show their true colours and I already see that I will not be able to count on my father - he's being a hindrance rather than help and I've pretty much had it with him.

I will say this: I'm thankful that I'm healthy and that I have my sister and grandmother to help me out and my little brother who is one of the only reasons I bother to wake up. And of course, I'll do my best to help my mother who I love so much.

I foresee two outcomes after this situation:

1) I start taking responsibility for my life, finally becoming a mature adult;

2) I officially go insane.