completely unsure where to go from here

in the summer of 2014, my last codependency fell apart, and i've been trying to work on it; the problem then was that nobody actually cared about the problem, so i hardly got anywhere. slowly, i've gotten to be ok, usually, and just broken down once a month for a few days out of loneliness, but now it seems to be resurfacing, i've been really paranoid no matter how hard i tried, but now it's starting to show again, and i feel like i just lost an extremely precious friend today out of it. i just don't know what to do anymore; there's no support for me, not even moral support (my family just doesn't show any compassion towards me, and my friends are perpetually busy,) and i'm starting to become angrier, pessimistic and paranoid that everyone hates me - and of course this makes people want to avoid me. i don't understand what to do anymore; i've tried doing just anything, and now i'm getting worse again.

i don't know how i'll respond if she does turn out to be really sick of me. my family showed no interest in my idea that i might have an attention deficit, and they showed no sign of wanting to investigate; it was last year, i believe, that i told them of it. i have this problem with attachment, then i can't focus on coding whatsoever anymore... i can't help myself, and nobody wants to talk to me; i just have no options i dont know what to do

tried churchill's big black dog and it's helping

IvyMercyLyons wrote:in the summer of 2014, my last codependency fell apart, and i've been trying to work on it; the problem then was that nobody actually cared about the problem, so i hardly got anywhere. slowly, i've gotten to be ok, usually, and just broken down once a month for a few days out of loneliness, but now it seems to be resurfacing, i've been really paranoid no matter how hard i tried, but now it's starting to show again, and i feel like i just lost an extremely precious friend today out of it. i just don't know what to do anymore; there's no support for me, not even moral support (my family just doesn't show any compassion towards me, and my friends are perpetually busy,) and i'm starting to become angrier, pessimistic and paranoid that everyone hates me - and of course this makes people want to avoid me. i don't understand what to do anymore; i've tried doing just anything, and now i'm getting worse again.

i don't know how i'll respond if she does turn out to be really sick of me. my family showed no interest in my idea that i might have an attention deficit, and they showed no sign of wanting to investigate; it was last year, i believe, that i told them of it. i have this problem with attachment, then i can't focus on coding whatsoever anymore... i can't help myself, and nobody wants to talk to me; i just have no options i dont know what to do

Hi, IvyMercyLyons! This subforum is not very active... I've been looking here a few times but most topics are very old. I am not sure if what I am saying helps you, I hope it does... But in my case I have noticed it's extremely difficult for those in my area to understand just how it feels for me to be "abandoned" by someone I was codependent on, as a person with DPD. Of course it is horrible for everyone, but I think it can be devastating for someone with DPD. I've had troubles functioning properly for 2 1/2 months now. As for the lack of support, I think it's based on a (somewhat logical) lack of understanding. They don't know what you feel. They also can't see it. Have you always "shown" these emotions and fears, or have you hidden them? For me, it's the latter case, which makes it even more difficult for those around me to understand me.

Once again - I am not sure if I am the correct person to advise this to you, but have you considered looking for professional help? It might help you. I wanted to earlier on, but was afraid to. So I was looking for support all around and once I found it and got the needed support, I got professional help. It's a step I could not have taken completely on my own, though. Right now, I am happy I took those steps and I am being listened to without getting a response like: "Oh, well, are you sure about that? I have never seen "weird" behaviour from you!" and "No, you should not try to get her back after what she's done. Forget about her and move on." I am sure you recognise these kind of replies. They are logical and they're being said with the best intentions, but do they really solve the problem for you?