Does this sound like DPD?

Over the last couple of years, I've become increasingly emotionally dependent on one of my closest friends. I've had various issues with anxiety (especially social anxiety), loneliness, and I think OCD, and I've confided in her a lot. I'm really grateful to have her as support, but I'm really worried about how dependent on her I've become. I often feel lonely and empty when I'm not in contact with her and when I can't see her, and I feel like I need her to comfort me and reassure me all the time. I feel safer and more secure when she hugs me.

I've kind of mentioned to her how I know I'm too dependent on her, but we haven't really had a conversation about it, and I don't know if we should, or what I should do. The other issue is that I'm really scared that it's not that I'm dependent on her, or it's not only that I'm dependent on her, but rather that I have feelings for her. This would be problematic, particularly because as far as I know, she's straight, and probably more importantly, she's been in a serious relationship for the last 2.5 years or so. So even though I don't like that I'm so dependent on her, I feel like that'd be better than having feelings for her. I just don't know if I do...I keep telling myself it's just that I'm too dependent on her, but I don't know if that's really the case...I worry that I'm jealous of her boyfriend...

I just don't know what to do...It doesn't seem like it would be a good idea to tell her that I'm worried I have feelings for her, but I don't like feeling like I'm hiding something from her. Although maybe it's not true at all... What should I do? I really really hate feeling this way, and I feel like I'm being a bad friend, and it's just increasing my loneliness. Does this sound like DPD or do you think it's something else?

Thanks in advance.

Falling for a straight girl really sucks, especially if she is a close friend. Honestly, I would suggest you discuss this with her. It's really bad to keep all this inside and it's overall unhealthy for you and your friendship with her. This will only keep bothering you. Be yourself, be honest to her and most importantly be honest with yourself. If I develop feelings for someone then I don't think I can ever see them as just "friends". There are certain people that you know right from the beginning when you first met them if there's potential for a relationship later on or not. Discuss it with her so it won't be slowly eating you alive from the inside.

If you're looking for a diagnosis, I suggest you see a therapist. They can help you analyze and guide you through these complex and complicated feelings. If you notice there's a pattern to your behaviors then a disorder might be a possibility.