Breaking the Silence

You shouldn't have made such a catchy thread title, cobra cat. Lured me in here, too.

EtherealStarlight wrote:*sees all the other SPD's in here*

are we trying to invade this place, or something? XD

It appears to be the case, yes.

I almost cried trying to prevent myself from laughing out loud (I'm at work) reading ES' and WL's replies.
Good job guys!

These forums... are like uncovered land to me - every day I stumble and fins some new subforum hidden 8 feet under other labels and sometimes I happen to re-find them, because it's not easy to remember the path to it without bookmarking it. Lol.

Okay, well I'm a little late to the party, but I have only just found this forum, which is, as you say, unfortunately quiet.

I am not 100% sure of my diagnosis, and it's definitely possibly that PD NOS would be a better fit than DPD, so idk how relevant my answers will be but here we go anyway

1- Do you have any individual hobbies

Heh, not really tbh. I kind of shuffle between interests that I get... intensely but shallowly fixated on? That sounds like a contradiction, but it's as accurate as I can manage right now.

2- Do you believe in God? If so, which faith do you follow?

I did. I was Christian for most of my life, attending an Anglican church and a Pentecostal youth group which I became fairly fixated on but I kind of managed to screw myself up in that regard.
I'm not really sure what I believe now, and it's probably fairly effected by delusional thinking, so...

3- What are your political beliefs

Heh. I'm really quite bad at the whole "zealously following beliefs that you don't actually fully understand thing", and I'm honestly not sure how much I believe in anything, but fairly to the left.

4- Who are the important people in your life?

Friends. Two in particular, with one definitely higher than the other in terms of my reliance on them.

5- What do you believe causes DPD?

No idea.

6- What country are you from?

New Zealand

7- What was your biggest dream growing up?

I can't really remember? My memory is pretty awful. I think I wanted to be a vet for a while?

8- How capable/incapable of independence do you believe you are?

No idea. More so than some others I think? But at the moment I'm basically just biding time til I die next year, I don't know what it would be like if I had to worry about future stuff, because I find that incredibly difficult.

9- What is your career (if you have one)?

I don't have one. I am currently 'on a break' from uni, but I wasn't really headed towards any sort of cohesive degree/career path

Hope this helps, thanks for trying to liven the forum up a bit

I'm amazed that I actually got an answer after all this time.

IcarusFalls wrote:1- Do you have any individual hobbies

Heh, not really tbh. I kind of shuffle between interests that I get... intensely but shallowly fixated on? That sounds like a contradiction, but it's as accurate as I can manage right now.

I understand exactly what you mean.

4- Who are the important people in your life?

Friends. Two in particular, with one definitely higher than the other in terms of my reliance on them.

How severe is your reliance on them? Does it seem to bother them? Do they actively enjoy it?

8- How capable/incapable of independence do you believe you are?

No idea. More so than some others I think? But at the moment I'm basically just biding time til I die next year, I don't know what it would be like if I had to worry about future stuff, because I find that incredibly difficult.

What is killing you?

Hope this helps, thanks for trying to liven the forum up a bit

Anything is more lively than nothing I suppose.

I know I'm super late to this dead thread but figured I'd add something for the hell of it. New here. I'll give it a go. My disorder is a little more towards Anti-social but dependency is a huge chunk itself. I'm a 31 yr old male. Single, no kids. I served 4 and 1/2 years in the U.S. Army with 2 combat deployments to Afghanistan as an Infantryman. Excelled in that work as I was always told what to wear/where to be/when to be/and what to do. I am now 100% Medically retired from the Army so I get disability monthly for life. Can work if I want to but am not at the moment. I tend to have issues with oversharing so you'll get more than enough info from me before you even ask most likely

1- Do you have any individual hobbies
If you can count video games that's about it. I used to be very deep into music. Played the drums for 10ish years. I've left the Army with Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD & TBI which made my interests slam to zero. Severe anhedonia.

2- Do you believe in God? If so, which faith do you follow?
I do not believe in God/I have no interest in religion. (You will find a pattern when it comes to "interest")

3- What are your political beliefs?
Don't invest in politics. But would place myself center-right I suppose.

4- Who are the important people in your life?
I don't currently have any. It's just me, myself, and I.

5- What do you believe causes DPD?
Childhood trauma/ Abandonment

6- What country are you from?
U.S.A.

7- What was your biggest dream growing up?
My memory of younger days is severely limited for some reason. I think I wanted to be a veterinarian for a short while but other than that I don't really know?

8- How capable/incapable of independence do you believe you are?
Pretty capable. I live on my own right now. I don't cook ever or things like that. My bills are paid but I just basically exist. If I wasn't getting this disability from the Army there would be a different answer to this.

9- What is your career (if you have one)?
No career. Medically Retired at 31.

Welcome.

Have you considered taking up drumming again?

What do you do with yourself all day?

Ok, let's do it. I'm new here and have been recently diagnosed, but I suppose my answers will have to do.

1- Do you have any individual hobbies
Yes. I like being on my own, actually, just not in important moments.
2- Do you believe in God? If so, which faith do you follow?
Yes, I do. I follow Umbanda, an afro Brazilian religion. (I'm Brazilian, by the way)
3- What are your political beliefs
I'm a Leninist communist.
4- Who are the important people in your life?
Mostly my mother, but also some friends and, occasionally, some romantic interests.
5- What do you believe causes DPD?
Early trauma.
6- What country are you from?
Brazil.
7- What was your biggest dream growing up?
To be the best at everything I did so I could please my parents.
8- How capable/incapable of independence do you believe you are?
Look, I am honestly trying to convince myself I can do everything a "normal" person could, but it is hard to internalize that. I also have schizoaffective disorder, and when psychotic I can't function on my own, I get so terrified I can't even sleep alone, in the dark. Besides, when depressed I can't take care of my physical needs or work, for example. Because of these experiences, I am still very much convinced I will never be completely independent.
9- What is your career (if you have one)?
I'm a university student now, aiming to be a public server.