Continue marriage, or not? I have DPD

My wife said today that she thinks I have dependent personality disorder.

It might make sense.

So I'm contemplating if it's beneficial for either of us to continue the relationship.

I read that this disorder will involve long term treatment for me to get self efficient enough, so I'm not sure if it's fair to her to continue this..

I know this disorder says that I will do anything to please other people, so me saying I'm thinking to end the relationship for her to not have to deal with my problems, probably makes me a textbook DPD.. I'm not afraid of being alone, but I'm not thrilled about it either.

it's been 4 years already for her, and I'm sure it must be tiring and frustrating for her to live with me like this.. I've always promised her to find out why I'm doing what I'm doing, but I never managed to figure out what was the reason why I was doing all this.. but now it seems to dawn on me that I'm DPD.. and I sort of have an ultimatum from her to figure this out this weekend.. She says I always find a way for to her to forget about my issues, but they always come back, and the tension is growing..

We're a perfect match on the practical and intimate level (works totally perfectly for me), but so and so on the intellectual (and I think that is equally or more important to her)..

Any suggestions?

Could she have narcissistic personality disorder herself?

For to me, I think I'm trying to do my best all the time, but it seems to never be good enough.. she does say she has really high standards, and high expectations of things, situations and people.. I do mess up sometimes, and forget things, which could be annoying for her.. but the reactions could be a bit harsh :/

well hi there & welcome to the forum comfort2013. it sounds like you've got some undue pressure and i can understand your need to reach out!

before trying to make any rash decisions, i think you should reach out to a professional for a diagnosis. your wife, based on just what you've said here, seems to have a lot of black/white thinking when it comes to things and that isn't helpful to the success of a relationship when things are rough. telling you that you need to make a decision by the end of the weekend is very invalidating when it comes to a MARRIAGE. a marriage is between two people, so one person making a decision seems senseless. is she only interested in making this work from the perspective of YOU needing to change but she's all perfect and sunshine and rainbows?

wineaux

In your 1st post you said that you are a "perfect match" and in the 2nd you asked if she could be a narcissistic?
In my opinion you are going into extrems, you should try to make an effort and see wich is the real situation.
Good luck!