My Daughter's Obsession With a Cartoon

Hello!

I'm glad I found this forum, because I honestly have no idea where to go now. I hope maybe you can help me out with some advice. Thank you! Here's the gist of what is going on:

My 16-year-old daughter has always had episodes of panic attacks since she was about 5. She saw a counselor for a few years when she was 8 - 11 years old, and they diagnosed her with acute anxiety and mild depression. They wanted to put her on medication, but said that in children, depression meds often have the opposite effect, so I said no until she was at least a teenager. The counseling sessions didn't really do anything to help her, so we stopped them after a few years, since all they really did was make her feel self-conscious and negative towards herself for having to go in the first place. Fast-forward to last spring. She was talking about killing herself and/or her peers at school because they were talking about sex and using swear words, two things that are triggers for her attacks. I decided that she had to see someone again at that time, so she started going to a counselor again. This time, as she was 15, I agreed to try medication. By the time we had her on the pills (Prozac), she was heading to her father's in Wyoming for the summer with her siblings. He doesn't believe in what he calls "psychos", and so he convinced her that she does not have anxiety, and never gave her the pills.

She came back from his place in late August, and since then she has been very happy and stable, even bringing her grades up from F's to A's, and making friends, two things she was incapable of before. Because of this, I decided her father's approach might be a good idea, so we didn't start the meds again...

For about a year, she has had an unhealthy obsession with a character from a kids' movie. This character is a bird, and she believes that he is her boyfriend. She truly believes that he talks to her and snuggles her at night, and she draws pictures of herself as a bird with him, sometimes sexually. She says she's not scared of sex anymore, but she still never wants to be with a human boy because they scare her. (Please note: she has never had any kind of sexual abuse at the hands of a man or a boy. Obviously, if this were a possibility, I would consider it, but I can say with a 99.9% degree of certainty that it is not the case, not only because of my VERY close relationship with her, but also from all her years of counselling where nothing like that has ever come up. Our home, and her father's are very safe and stable. No drugs, no swearing, not even TV aside from the occasional DVD. Her four siblings are entirely well-rounded, as well.)

So anyway, as I was saying, she has been doing better than I have ever seen her before for the last two months with the exception of this bird obsession, which I took to be more of a safety blanket for her, so I left it alone.

Then, without warning, last night things went downhill VERY fast.

She came downstairs while I was making her birthday dinner (it was her 16th birthday), shaking all over. I thought she needed to eat, since dinner was a little late, so I told her that dinner was coming in a minute and to wash up for it. After pacing uncontrollably for a while, she went back to her room. A moment later, I heard her wail. The most heart-wrenching, horrible cries I have EVER heard. I ran up to her room and found her on her bed crying uncontrollably and shaking all over. I sat with her and tried to get out of her what was wrong, but she kept crying and couldn't say anything coherent. After a while she calmed down a bit, so I told her to come to dinner. She joined us at the table, but didn't eat anything, and kept muttering to herself words I couldn't make out. She scared her siblings as she played with her cup manically, then suddenly burst into tears again.

So I took her to the ER.

There, they took some blood samples and came to the conclusion that she was low on magnesium and potassium, so they pumped some into her and she calmed down. I talked to her, and finally got out of her why she was crying so hard: It was because she thought her bird boyfriend had left her. She said, "it's gone" over and over again, so I didn't realize it was that (she normally would have said "he's gone" instead), until she told me. As the IV worked, she calmed down more and more, and told me that she felt him coming to real life, then suddenly he was gone. She has one F in a class which she has makeup work to do. She decided that he had only left so she could get her homework done. After that, she was fine.

A few issues I am having:

1) I am aware that teenagers get very upset when they have relationship breakups. My daughter's reaction was beyond what a normal girl would do when left by her boyfriend... and he's not real. There's that too. If she reacts this badly to a fake boyfriend who she SWEARS is real, will she ever be able to have a real, healthy, and meaningful relationship with anyone?

2) I can't take her back to the counselor, because they did NOTHING for her before. All she ever felt when going to her appointments was guilt and remorse for having to see someone for her mental issues. Pills are no longer an option either, as her father has convinced her that there is nothing wrong (as has the ER doctor now), and the idea of taking / getting addicted to any drug is another of her triggers. We do not have the resources to take her to a specialist.

3) The IV DID help her, so I am wondering if a change of diet will help? Does a shortness of magnesium and potassium in the blood cause these kinds of episodes? Like I said, she's been WONDERFUL for the last couple months. Not manic, just... normal.

Thank you for reading all of this. I am sorry it's so long. I just felt the more information you had, the more you could possibly help.

Thank you again. I'm at the end of my rope...

I accidently posted this twice. Please delete this one. Thank you.

Let me preface this by saying, I am not a mental health professional and this is just my personal opinion.

I find it very interesting that she said "it's gone" rather than "he's gone." Living in a fantasy world, is just that, but it is also a feeling. There is this connectedness, and when she felt the illusion that strongly and then it disappears, it certainly can feel devastating. The love that is felt causes a chemical reaction in the brain that certainly is addicting in itself. I can only imagine how crushing it might have been if her mind suddenly said to her, "this is not real." That is something very difficult to admit to yourself, but once you internalize it there can be all sorts of horrible feelings that come along.

Is this something that she talks about with others or is it a secret? Could it be possible she told someone and they told her she was crazy, its untrue, etc? That could be the cause of the slide.

For me, since my issue is with a real person, thinking the love is not real is quite heartbreaking, since it certainly feels real coming from me. There are times when the feeling just comes out of nowhere, this deep love and I can't help but wonder if that is coming from him. It feels like it does, but that is unproven. Does it truly exist since it is unspoken, or in her case a fictional character? You can feel like a fool for allowing the mind to trick you into thinking it does. So, we choose either to believe it and go with flow or beat yourself up for feeling like a fool. It certainly can be depressing, since the one thing we all need the most is love.

This love whether you want to call it delusional or illusional, I believe still comes from the heart. To her it feels real, even if it is for this imaginary cartoon bird. It sounds like a very safe character to manifest for her based on her issues with boys and sex.

Perhaps, the only way to continue in this state of love, is to make up a "reason" so the disappearance of the feeling wouldn't carry the burden of realizing you have been lying to yourself. That the mind has been playing tricks on you.

I'm wondering if hypnosis could help. Sometimes when we understand the problem, from within, it is easier to cope. I'm a believer in past lives, and considering at such a young age she started having these panic attacks, it just makes me wonder. Why would someone so young be so afraid? If some of those issues could be brought to the surface and resolved, maybe it would bring some relief to her.

An advantage of a hypnotist, is that there is not that stigma of seeing someone for mental health issues. They are there just to relax you and get you to talk. Unburdening the deep subconscious if it is done in the right way with a professional that can handle directing what comes out, can be life changing. There could have been an event you were unaware of when she was 5 that was quite traumatizing. If she sees it as going to help alleviate her panic attacks that just sounds easier instead of "psychiatrist."

Certainly, trying a new diet might help, but maybe all it would take would be some vitamins.

I'm glad that you said no to the medications at such an early age. The brain is still developing and I believe it should be able to do so naturally. The fact that she was able to conduct a somewhat normal life, even with this delusion is encouraging. Maybe even she thought, I must get good grades to make the bird proud of me. That type of thinking could be in an odd way beneficial. Though, I don't think it would be helpful for you to participate in keeping this illusion going in hope to create that effect.

Never give up hope that she could go on and have a real relationship with a real person! She is still very young.

I hope I have been successful in shedding some light on the thought process that may be going on on her head. The mind is so complicated!

Hello JessicaR,

Your daughter has the same thing I have. I have been obsessed with cartoon characters, video game characters, book characters, etc since I was a small child. I honestly believe in the world that I have created called the Carousal and the Wasteland. However, I developed a way to keep this delusion as private as possible and cope with it.

I also drew pictures like the ones she drew, had some cartoons as boyfriends over the years (often with deep relationships) and often expressed it with sexuality. I am still actively doing this today and I am 25 years old.

The fact is, this is an unknown condition. I've been to many psychiatrists and they either can't agree on what it is or admit that they've no idea. It is a form of delusion that shows itself by finding certain personality traits and qualities admirable, exciting or attractive in others. Instead of adopting them in oneself, we'll often personify them in fictional individuals that we feel best represents them. It isn't quite schizophrenia and isn't quite Multiple Personality Disorder. She isn't actually seeing them or hearing them. The best way I can describe it is an addiction to one's imagination.

Please look at this as her using these cartoons as a way to understand aspects of herself. Her sexuality with him is her way of understanding her own new-found interest in sexuality. Her breaking up with him was devastating because it is her breaking up with a piece of herself. Don't forget that he is in her mind, so he is a part of what she sees in herself. Whatever her reason for breaking up with him, it is her feeling rejected by herself. This has happened to me with my cartoons many times and, although I understand they don't exist in reality, it doesn't make it hurt any less to know that you found something in yourself that you hated so much that you didn't think you were worth the love of the individual you found/created for yourself. It's a type of heart-wrenching feeling that many will never know.

However, I've found my condition to be undeniably useful in understanding myself. Some people just can't see the world for what it is. It's too boring or out of sync with how they believe reality ought to be, so they create their own understanding of it (even if it's build upon delusions).

It might concern you, but my best advice is to never treat her like there's anything about her that she should feel ashamed of. Don't fuss about it. It might not seem normal to you, but sit her down. Ask her what about him made her feel so happy? Why did they break up? If you're comfortable with it, I don't mind her PMing me to talk about it even!

She is young, so she may not be thinking about why it is the delusion that her imagination created is making her feel this way. Thinking about this cartoon as an existential part of her is very crucial to communication.

I also have a very hard time making friends. I'm awkward and have social anxiety. She is living in her world. Not the world others are living in. She sees things differently about herself and about reality than others do.

You know what helped me? I only saw 2 counselors in my adolescence and I have never been on medication. I never felt like there was something psychologically wrong with me. My parents always just told me I had a hyperactive imagination and that's how I've always seen it. That there is nothing wrong with me. I just need to learn how it is my mind wants me to understand myself and reality. It's harder for me (and it appears for her) to learn how to cope with the world we've been given.

Understand that her reactions to what she experiences aren't going to be like others. She will be over-reactive. I'll openly admit that I had visions of cartoons. I had the game "Legend of Zelda: Links Awakening" for Gameboy. I talked to him while I was playing the game and I understood what he'd be saying back. I actually built a relationship with my avatar. When my sister wrote over my game, it was like my heart was ripped out of my chest.

Part of this involves a hyper-sensitivity to relating things to oneself. If cartoons are on a tv, she can probably envision what it'd be like to communicate with them, what their personalities would be like, and their reactions. That all seems very real to her, because it communicates with her understanding of herself on a personal level.

If you want to speak with me on this further, then please don't hesitate to contact me! I'd be happy to discuss this with you.

I have found that my symptoms recede when I stop watching television, listening to music and playing videogames. Try removing any unnecessary stimuli from her environment and see if that helps. It might take a while (1-2 weeks) to "detox". Try to promote a more active lifestyle. If you have bicycles, try taking the family out on a ride.

Nightingale12 wrote:Hello JessicaR,

Your daughter has the same thing I have. I have been obsessed with cartoon characters, video game characters, book characters, etc since I was a small child. I honestly believe in the world that I have created called the Carousal and the Wasteland. However, I developed a way to keep this delusion as private as possible and cope with it.

The fact is, this is an unknown condition. I've been to many psychiatrists and they either can't agree on what it is or admit that they've no idea. It is a form of delusion that shows itself by finding certain personality traits and qualities admirable, exciting or attractive in others. Instead of adopting them in oneself, we'll often personify them in fictional individuals that we feel best represents them. It isn't quite schizophrenia and isn't quite Multiple Personality Disorder. She isn't actually seeing them or hearing them. The best way I can describe it is an addiction to one's imagination.

I have the same problem as well, and I'm glad to see I'm not alone. I don't want to pressure you into doing anything, and you don't have to this if you don't want to, but I need someone to talk to that would have the same problem as I have. I feel very lonely and this is my first time on this website. You also seem like a very nice person. Please let me know what you think. Thank you.