Please help!

Dear All,

Firstly a little about me. Im a 21 year old male and have had a similar problem in the past. I was totally normal (mentally) till the time I graduated from school. Then, in college I experimented and abused (for about a year) with marijuana and developed symptoms similar to the ones stated below. Anyhow, I have been off alcohol and marijuana for the past 2 years now. I just tend to smoke a lot of cigarettes.

I am going through a really troubling time right now.
Basically my problem comprises of two symptoms.

Firstly, while Im at work, I keep hearing people talking about me - or atleast I think they're talking about me. When I say that I mean that they might just be talking about someone else, but somehow the words they use "tell" me that it IS about me - now my concern is that whether Im just "creating" these words out of my subconsience or are they actually saying these things?

I'll give u a particular example: I keep hearing the people at work talking (amongst themselves) about something or the other that concerns me - its like they're repeating things I have said in the past in a mocking fashion. Like, I usually say things like "Oh, Im verrry careful, very with a double r". So I heard (not saw) someone repeat it in the same way as if they were mocking me and then they laughed about it. As soon as I hear one such incident, it triggers of a chain of events and then everything I hear, I start feeling that I have said it before and they're all just making fun of me. I mean, right now, I feel that I must have said some things in my interview (prior to my getting the job) and the interviewers must have discussed my answers with the people in the office and now everyone is making fun of me. The reason why I arrived at this logic is because, I just feel so DAMN sure that I have said these exact things before -- then I go back to think when I have said them, but I cant recall... but theres this feeling that I HAVE said these exact words somewhere before, where, I cant remember. Then my mind goes on to logically believe, since they know so many things I said, and since none of the people at the office knew me before this, it must have been the interviewer telling all tales about I, and now they're all making fun of me.

Thats one thing (hearing things without seeing people), at other times, even when my cubicle-mate is talking to somebody (either on the phone or with someone in the office), I can SEE her or them talking so I know Im not imagining it - I start to think that whatever conversation they're having, is pre-planned and sort of directed towards me - again, in a mocking way... You know, like if they're talking about the latest cars, I would start to think that I at some point must have bragged about my car or something to somebody over the phone when I had come for the interview (or at the interview) and now the interviewer told these people who are now talking about it to mock me.


Secondly, in addition to the repeating/mocking thing, I also tend to hear things like "He'll screw everything up", "Who the hell could have hired him" - even though I know that Im a good worker and that I can do the job Im hired for very well. So it cant really be my sub-conscience creating these things because its not in line with what I think of myself. I just dont get it. And these same people, who I hear (again, not see) saying all this, seem to be completely fine when I talk to them face to face. Something doesnt seem right. But sometimes, a thought which is just entered my head, which I havent told anyone, I will hear (not see!) this thought being said out aloud- from far ... and this time I dont know who's saying it- whereas in the earlier cases, I can clearly make out WHO is saying these things. Sometimes I see them, sometimes I dont, but in both the cases, I end up feeling hurt because I feel that Im not that bad a person that people have to make so much fun of me.

I cant seem to understand my problem. Can someone please shed some light on this? Im I schizophrenic? or am I delusional?

Are people "really" saying all these things or am I just imagining it? Note that this is just "one" example that I face at work, I encounter this feeling several times a day - in every new environment that I go to.

Also, I rarely have these feelings at the time these conversations are going on - Its so strange, that later on, when Im driving home, I suddenly (out of nowhere) start remember- "Oh ... she said this.. but this is familiar, I have said this somewhere before... who did i say it to... she must be mocking me" and then the next and the next and it goes on like a chain reaction till the time I believe that the whole staff has mocked me all day and I have not even realised it till now (when im driving back home) and have been made a fool of.

Has someone experienced anything even close to this? Please help me. I just need some advice or a name of this disorder (if there is one) so that I can atleast accept it and move on.

Thanks in advance...