Does My Wife Have DDJ

Well,a year ago I got my wife to see a psychiatrist for second opinion again I got her to go if I went first. He confirmed the first diagnosis delusional disorder. She still doesn't believe she has a problem. according to her I am a high functioning aspergers and delusional. There is absolutely no hope she will get the help she needs. The worst part is her delusions are being expressed to our children. last week my daughter asked me "why doesn't mom go on dates like you dad?" apparently that is where she said I when I have to attend a city counsel or committioner meeting for work. That is very likely the last straw. I truly. feel sorry for her and her condition but I can't let it unchanged my children. So very sad.

Hello Missmywife,

I think it's not the way to go to let your wife realize what illness she is suffering in order to get her any treatment. I just found a book on amazon, I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help! How to Help Someone with Mental Illness Accept Treatment. I've bought it but haven't received it. I think it might be helpful since there are many excellent reviews on amazon.

I too have Dr. xavior amadors book and have watched several of videos of his speeches on the topic of LEAP. The corner stone of the method is developing trust with the person needing help. Being the object of her delusion (that I am deceiving her in many ways) it is unlikely that I am the one that can build that trust. it hasen't stopped me from trying. I am sure it would work in most other situations better. it would work for a friend or councillor better, someone she trusts. LEAP like in marriage trust is the most important ingredient.

Yes, I totally agree with you. Actually, my mother has been suffering this terrible illness for 14 years, but we didn't know it was an illness until recently. I know there is absolutely no way for my father to do anything at this point. So I am the one who can use the strategies similar to what the book seems to suggest (I haven't read the book yet, just read some reviews on it), and I'm using them seemingly effectively so far. My mother is receiving medication now. But I still need to be extremely careful to keep her on medication. One advantage I have is that my mother doesn't know English. So when she agreed to see a doctor, she doesn't really know what kind of doctor she is seeing. But I believe there would be effective strategies for people with any kind of background. They are just not so easy to find and demand persistent explorations.

Will my family and I has been dealing wife delusional disorder for three years now. Currently the kids are unaware of her disorder, but they will understand in the future as they are getting older. My wife took me to the psychiatrist to call me on the carpet about what is wrong with me. (there must be something wrong with me because she thinks there is nothing wrong with her). She thinks that i have Aspergers the psychiatrist said that was a specialty of his practice and i didn't have it. To satisfy her need to have a diagnosis for me, he said i may have an adjustment disorder because I am having trouble dealing with my difficult situation at home. That is true. She got mad and left the session, I have no hope that she will see another psychiatrist again.

Currently I am staying married to her because I can see my kids every day. If we divide she said she wants to take my parental rights. I don't think that I would loose my rights but he fight will be miserable for me my kids and her. So for now i am holding tight. Tonight she is at a costume party at her fiends i think, the scare part is she is making decisions on her faulty input. This situation sucks for all of us involved.

We have had close family and fiends that were frequent visitors that we very rarely see now. I would probably avoid this situation too if I could too. And I too would not have understood the impact on everyone else that doesn't understand why our fiends don't come around anymore.

Hanging tight.

For those of you currently in the darkness... there is hope. I am now 4 years out from my situation, and I have met a wonderful woman. She is a school teacher and all I ever could have hoped for. I no longer have to be concerned about and try to explain wrong phone numbers on my cell phone, lie detector tests or GPS systems being placed on my vehicle. I can take the screens out of the windows in my home office and no longer be accused of "sneaking" lovers in the window while my wife is in bed asleep. I'm no longer awakened at 2 AM to go through every inch of my vehicle because she "knows I'm hiding something". So take heart, I have been where you are currently, and if you have the strength to remove yourself from the current situation, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I loved deeply my wife of 29 years... but in my mind I had to think of her almost passing away. For the woman that I loved for so many years was gone, and nothing that I could ever do was going to bring her back. Once I realized that, I was able to move on... and find love once again.

To all of those seeking answers...you'll find some guidance and advice here. I know you're searching for something that makes sense. But always remember, you're not, nor have you ever been, alone.

I read these posts over and over again trying to understand what happened and why this horrible thing has become between us and destroyed my family. I hate him for what he has done but then somehow feel sorry for him.
So confused.

Sandolllar wrote:For those of you currently in the darkness... there is hope. I am now 4 years out from my situation, and I have met a wonderful woman. She is a school teacher and all I ever could have hoped for. I no longer have to be concerned about and try to explain wrong phone numbers on my cell phone, lie detector tests or GPS systems being placed on my vehicle. I can take the screens out of the windows in my home office and no longer be accused of "sneaking" lovers in the window while my wife is in bed asleep. I'm no longer awakened at 2 AM to go through every inch of my vehicle because she "knows I'm hiding something". So take heart, I have been where you are currently, and if you have the strength to remove yourself from the current situation, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I loved deeply my wife of 29 years... but in my mind I had to think of her almost passing away. For the woman that I loved for so many years was gone, and nothing that I could ever do was going to bring her back. Once I realized that, I was able to move on... and find love once again.

Hi Sandollar, I have read all this thread, and see that you found a new life after divorcing your wife. I am trying to gather strength to follow that path. I have started a new topic if you are interested to read my story. My main worry is how this will affect our kids. I wonder once I am out of the picture, is she going to focus her delusions on them? If you don't mind me asking, did you have kids with her? How did they take all this? How old were they during the crisis years? Do you know how she is doing?
Feel free to answer or not, you may not want to think about those past events. Thanks.