Unique Situation - stress related...

Thanks everyone for the response to my last post. I find myself with a DD wife, eight children, a son who is recovering now from a severe psychotic episode and, if that wasn't enough, I myself am now recovering from the second worse cancer in the US, Esophageal Cancer, which I had two years ago.

I have a question about DD that you may or may not have an answer to. My wife has ups and downs, and a lot of the time she is good, but under stress her DD really comes out, though I believe it is always under the surface. She was sexually abused as a child and, not surprisingly, it turns out her delusions have to do with someone abusing our children. We have had another manifestation of this recently.

Question: if our life calms down and we have less stress, can I expect her to stay the same or even get better? She has already gotten better since our son came home; I really thought I was going to lose her when he was hospitalized. Or can I expect the DD to get worse regardless of the stress.

Obviously, no one knows the answer to this for sure, but can we say that in most cases it will stay the same if there is not a lot of new stress...or the opposite. Much hangs on this. I feel the family can continue with her as she is, but if she gets much worse, we will be in an entirely different situation. Much is hanging in the balance now (like eight children.) Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hi Mr. Sicily,

I'm glad your wife and son are doing better. In regards, to your question stress can trigger a psychotic episode. Delusions are usually fueled by the fear of the unknown and sometimes guilt. It is very important for people suffering from delusional disorder to learn how to manage their stress.This might be by meditating,exercising,or being involved with a hobby.They also need to feel comfortable to talk to someone they trust and express any thoughts that might be bothering them. The problems need to be resolved as soon as they arise so they don't spiral out of control. Cognitive Behavioral therapy is also very helpful . For many a longterm anti-psychotic and anti depressant meds for maintenance is a neccessity in preventing a relapse.

I believe meds. are important especially, when a person is in a psychotic episode but meds alone will not prevent a relapse. A person is in recovery once they are symptom free and have insight of their past delusions and can rationalize them as false beliefs. The person also needs to accept that they are ill and want to get better. Once this happens, all of the above that was mentioned needs to be applied. It is a major lifestyle change but longterm recovery is possible.

We have changed our lifestyle and so far my husband is doing very well. After all, I believe we all need to learn how to deal with our stress and try to live healthier lives.

May God Bless you and your family .
good luck!

Please Please do not drug her. You will going to ruin her barin, her mind and all the faculties of her that demonstrate her as a human being. She will become a vegetable, have her mouth watering, walk with a strange gait, and love you as a robot does. Please think again and learn more about the harmful effects of psychiatric medication by reading online articles, which you can find by yahoo search.

virginia star wrote:Please Please do not drug her. You will going to ruin her barin, her mind and all the faculties of her that demonstrate her as a human being. She will become a vegetable, have her mouth watering, walk with a strange gait, and love you as a robot does. Please think again and learn more about the harmful effects of psychiatric medication by reading online articles, which you can find by yahoo search.

This is not always true. Psychotropics can be extremely helpful in psychotic symptoms (delusions especially). I was a delusional basket case for years until I was put on a therputic dose of an AAP. Yes they can be harmful for some, especially the people who cant use them as described, for children who dont need them, and for people who just take meds without reading.

To answer your question Mr, delusions can be triggered by stress. That is one of my main triggers (as for many people). Although yes, the less tress the less delusions, its hard to stay away from that trigger. Im not saying its impossible, or that you need to put your wife in a bubble. Its just that all stress manifistations can not be helped. But optimistically, yes, the less stress the less delsuions.

Psychotropic drugs eliminate delusions or whatever term you like to describe someone being a bit imaginative, by damaging brain functions and dulling human feelings. One on medication will have a slowered brain, a mouth that waters, a pair of feet that do not correspond to the brain, a heart that does not feel, and some physical problems as well, for example some patients on medication have trouble urinating. Those paients will be given another medicine to help them urinate unnaturally. One loses creativity and talents after he/she takes medication, though he/ she will become manageable.
Your wife may be unusual in some sense. She may be more imaginative from ordinary people or may have some thoughts that is far from the truth. Perhaps she fears something or angers about something. Knowing the cause and telling her the truth again and again about her current situation, which is safe, may offer some sort of help, I hope.
Please do not drug her. She will suffer if you put her into medication, and that suffer can only lead to the destruction of a human mind

Dear Partners in DD:

Desperatehopeful wrote:

Delusions are usually fueled by the fear of the unknown and sometimes guilt.

... Before my beautiful husband became totally consumed by DDJ, he had periods of some clarity... the way he explained it to me was, "it's like thick storm clouds houvering over me, and then suddenly the clouds open and the sun shines through." He used to write me emails and notes saying "I'm so sorry for the terrible crucible I've put upon you..." He even said to me, "I say these things of you (i.e., being a lesbian/drug user/etc.) because they are my greatest fear" ... That was years ago... slowly but surely... the storm clouds never subsided and I never saw his beautiful eyes or genuine smile towards me again...

I do want to point out that when I have an opportunity to be away with him and our 4 girls... for example we all go to visit our daughter that is away at College by the ocean in Salisbury, MD... he seems closer to the person he used to be... his persona is lighthearted and we can even have a somewhat lively conversation... Perhaps this is because he is away from the stress he feels (mostly fueled by DD) at work. He loves to fish and be by the water.

Virginia Star wrote:

One on medication will have a slowered brain, a mouth that waters, a pair of feet that do not correspond to the brain, a heart that does not feel, and some physical problems as well, for example some patients on medication have trouble urinating. Those paients will be given another medicine to help them urinate unnaturally. One loses creativity and talents after he/she takes medication, though he/ she will become manageable.

Let me reiterate that I am divorced now... not by choice, but because it's what the doctor strongly recommended in order for him to be released from some of the DDJ anxiety he was feeling, and because I thought it was best for my daughters. But before the divorce, I was faced with the decision to have him committed ... his family actually offered to come over and help with the intervention... I was so scared of how he would react once he was released... he's 6'4" and 250 lbs.... what if he'd be in a rage because I had committed him? I mean, he already hated me, I didn't want to add fuel to the fire... So I decided against it... I never pushed him into taking the anti-psychotic medication that was prescribed for him... he did for about 2 or 3 days and then stopped ... his excuse was that I was the one that should be on the medication... The reason I didn't push more for him to take them is because I was told that it could/would change his personality, etc. ... As far as the children were concerned, he was still a loving dad, although they'd tell me he'd talk to them about my "horribleness" behind my back. Nevertheless, he "loved" them... I couldn't bare making him take meds that would alter his love and affection for them.... so I backed off...

Thanks for letting me ramble on once again. I can't tell you how much I appreciate reading your posts! God bless us all...