Is there really any help?

Well I have ended up in counseling myself trying to deal with my husband bizarre behavior. He has all the signs of DD - Jealous type. This is not the same man I married 6 years ago. I just found out from his ex-wife he did the same to her. I want him out of the house and my couselor believes is the best thing I need to do. I am trying not to loose my nerve! He is speading awful lies about me. But then is sweet and nice at home. He needs help.....but I don't think it will actually happen. At first I was willing to do anything to help him. BUT - - - according to him there is nothing wrong with him. It's me.

Hi,

Are you saying that you want to get separated/divorced from him? If so, then consult a divorce lawyer about what is the best approach to take. You should obviously also talk to him about your intentions. I'm sure that you've told him directly before about how what he's doing is hurting you, right?

Rose - it sounds like most of the ladies posting here.Please read threads from Tara, Faithful, etc. See what they have had to do.

If your mind is made up to go, you should do it. If there are no children involved, it should be fairly simple to just leave. If you think 6 years of your life have been wasted, many of the other ladies have 25 ++ years they wish had been with someone else. Don't drag it out any longer. Listen to your counselor.

Well I finally couldn't take it anymore and blew up at him. I left on Friday night. It was very dramatic and very very hard. I went to my son's house. My son helped to handle things. He told him he had to get out of the house which he did. I got the locks changed. My husband is staying with his daughter. I took no calls from him. I finally called him last night (Sunday) and he assured me he would get help. I told him I love him and IF the marriage has a chance he has to get HELP! But that remains to be seen. Time will tell on that one. What a sense of relief to have him gone. I was under so much stress. I am praying that he get's help. If our marriage can survive this also remains to be seen.

Is there any sort of support group for me?

Hi again,

You haven't mentioned any specific examples of difficult situations from your relationship with him. It'd be beneficial for your to talk about them so that we can back you up and make you see that the problem IS with him (and not you). You are definately in control of the situation now though, because he knows that unless he gets help, then the relationship is over. I don't know of any support groups that you could go to... ...I'd ask your counsellor about them.

Kevin

Well - - -Ok.............we were going along in our perfect little life. Then all of a sudden he was accusing me of hurting him. Well I would NEVER hurt the man I love. But he wouldn't be specific. He was going to leave me. Only that something had come between us in our relationship. But he could not be specific. Finally it came out. He thought I was having oral sex with the men at work. OMG! And that I was allowing men into our home for sex. He would no long sleep in our bed because is was "dirty". He had video cameras set up and tape recorder under the bed. He started being very critical of what I wore. Also clothes and other items were disappearing. He could not be reasoned with. I constantly had to reassure him that I loved him. He talked constantly, didn't sleep at night and wasn't eating well. I found out that he was telling close friends what he thought I was doing. Thank goodness they did not beleive him. Oh and the missing clothes...........he was having them tested for semen! UNREAL!!

Okay, thanks for sharing. It seems completely silly for him to imagine such things, but that's the nature of this disorder. It may also tie-in with a sense of paranoia on his part. Either way - as I've already said - you are in control here and you must ensure that he actively seeks help. In fact, the fact that he has said he will seek help is indication enough that he realises he has a problem and wants to be with you.

Kevin

Well - - - it has been a roller coaster ride but my husband is back and everything seems fine. He is more like himself although very emotional. I know he realizes he almost lost me. He is going into counseling - thank goodness. I told him there was no choice in that. I cannot deal with him if he goes back to being in that delutional state. I don't understand how he could be so delutional and then be OK. He did come from a very abusive childhood and was abandoned by his mother at the age of 10. So there are issues! Time will tell on how he progresses.