My delusional disorder, cured rather instantly?

I'm not sure if anyone can relate to this experience or help me understand what happened to me.

It seems I suffered from some kind of delusional disorder for about a year from Feb 2007 to Feb 2008 before being cured by an anti-psychotic, Risperdal.

Looking back now, I had no idea I was delusional (none of my family even suspected anything was wrong with me for an entire year) -- for many months I firmly believed that professors, co-workers, and friends were either secretly in love with me or were somehow plotting my demise. For a long time I had difficulty leaving the house because I thought that complete strangers were staring at me, trying to communicate with me through secret body language signals. I thought the footsteps of the people living above me were in fact coded messages directed at me, and I responded by knocking on the walls (in code) and hanging written responses outside my door that I believed they would understand. It became a full-blown psychosis by the time I got to the hospital -- I believed I had powers to move objects with my mind and that I could telepathically communicate with anyone in the world. The Risperdal almost immediately ended all these bizarre thoughts and sensations, and that was the end of that strange, year-long experience.

Right now I'm on no medication. It's been like this since the end of Feb. I'm wondering if it's possible to have had DD for only a short period of time in your life? Like, I was completely normal before 2007, then came that tumultuous delusional year, and now it's back again to normal.

I feel like this DD/psychosis bit me in the butt of nowhere -- I wasn't using drugs and I wasn't under any stress. I don't have schizophrenia and I don't believe I'm bipolar.

Is this possible?

s

xiexieniii your situation sounds very similar to my wife's, at least so far. It hit her out of the blue for about 6 months, then went away for about 9 months, then came back again for 3 months and so far hasn't returned. While the second episode was shorter than the first it seemed to have stretches where the delusions were much more intense than the first time.

Unfortunately I understand a common pattern is for people to have one or two early episodes before the DD comes back as a more or less full time thing. As you have discovered however medication can apparently help.

I think it is great you have such insight into what you experienced, and I hope things continue to go well for you.

xiexieniii,

from what you wrote I made an educated guess that you are rather young, maybe in your twenties, right?

Based on that and the content of your delusions (ideas of reference, thought insertion and other rather bizzare delusions towards the end) this doesn't sound like classic delusional disorder to me (this is not professional opinion, obviously). Note that that's not necessarily bad - from what I have seen/read, even people with schizophrenia which is responsive to medication and well controlled are often better off than those with supposedly milder diagnosis of delusional disorder who are left untreated.

I found literature references to psychotic episodes that were "one time only" and even to spontaneous recovery so I guess there is still much we don't know about how psychosis actually gets triggered. Are you still seeing psychiatrist? IMO it would be good idea to have some continued contact with psychiatrist while you are off the medication so that any signs of reccurence can be caught early. Another thing you might want to investigate now when you feel well is whether your state has concept of psychiatric advance directive document - that could help ensure that you can get treatment if you get into another psychotic episode even if you lose insight.

Best wishes to you and feel free to post here as often as you like.I am always happy to hear from someone who came out of the tunnel, so to speak...

Sunny,

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one haunted by the memories of my delusions. Throughout the year I absolutely believed (at least) nine different people were in love with me or wanted to sleep with me, and I thought they were constantly conveying secret "hints" of their love -- by raising a coffee cup a certain way, by wearing a certain color shirt, or even by looking at me when passing by. What is devastating about this is that I actually started to develop feelings in return for some of these people. (It's a damn good thing I did not actually act upon my feelings, even though I was CERTAIN they wanted me and CERTAIN it was a match.) So when the Risperdal hit me, and when I realized that not a single one of them was actually communicating any secret messages of love to me, I was heartbroken! The sense of knowing what they were trying to do to me was so incredibly real...

Now that I am sobered up, I hang out with some of these people (to this day they have no idea what I was interpreting from their benign actions) and sometimes, all I can wish is that the delusions had been real. It was a very foul trick my mind had played on me. I really thought they liked me back.

I also had a delusion that a friend was trying to sexually harass me. Even though I'm "sober" now, and the action of him looking at his watch means absolutely nothing to me (when I was delusional it meant he wanted to kiss me), I can still recall the feeling of being uncomfortable quite clearly.

For me, I don't think these delusions will ever return so I've actually stopped seeing my doctor altogether. If I do relapse in the future, that's fine by me -- at least then I might be able to get a solid diagnosis. But for now, it's just a mystery.

peytonmanning18,

Thank you, and I hope things go well for your wife as well. What kinds of delusions was she having, if I may ask? Did the doctors first diagnose her with schizophrenia? That's what they did with me in Feb of this year, but now it has become apparent that I am not schizophrenic as I am not on medication and have no symptoms at all.

Tara,

Thanks. I'm glad to have found a place where others can relate to what I experienced.

I am 24 and the delusions began in the middle of my senior year in college. I was so out of touch with reality (I harassed some professors and claimed to other students that one was making sexual advances towards me) that I ended up dropping out, leaving my family, and flying around the country in a delusional haze. I still haven't managed to get myself back in school since this all started.

It does seem there is so much about the nature of psychosis that we haven't figured out yet. I've found many cases and explanations for schizophrenia and ongoing psychosis without medications, but I'm still trying to find more people who share this "one time only" deal, non drug- or stress-induced.

xiexieniii wrote:peytonmanning18,

Thank you, and I hope things go well for your wife as well. What kinds of delusions was she having, if I may ask? Did the doctors first diagnose her with schizophrenia? That's what they did with me in Feb of this year, but now it has become apparent that I am not schizophrenic as I am not on medication and have no symptoms at all.

My wife was having delusions that were mostly a combination of persecutory and grandiose. She was convinced there was a vast conspiracy (she called it The Intervention) that was monitoring us, and had been for years.

On her good days she saw The Intervention as something that was trying to help us; all our friends and relatives (not to mention an army of total strangers) trying to help our marriage. We were going to get a new house from a reality TV show, I was going to be given a new car, they were going to send us and all our neighbors on a free cruise.

On her bad days she saw The Intervention as a malignant, potentially dangerous attempt to invade and even control our lives, recording our every conversation and action and putting it all on the Internet for people to watch, for profit.

She also had maybe a smattering of Jealous subtype (early on she accused me of having an affair) and even Somatic (she mentioned that she thought some kind of microchip had been implanted in her toe on which she had had surgery several months previously).

Unfortunately we never got a diagnosis, when my wife was having symptoms she refused to see anyone, and she was never quite sick enough that I had to have her commited against her will. Now that she is (mostly) asymptomatic she still refuses to see anyone, on the grounds there is nothing wrong with her.

She has started seeing a psychiatrist for ADHD, which she has just recently been able to accept that she probably has (I agree that she has it but I don't think the delusions had anything to do with the ADHD). She has convinced herself that I can't handle her ADHD and that is why I keep trying to convince her and other people (MDs and close family) that she was genuinely exhibiting psychotic symptoms.

Unlike you my wife was in her mid-forties when this started, my understanding is this is quite a typical age for onset of DD, you seem to be younger than the average victim. Prior to this she had never had any mental problems, at least not anything a layperson would really pick up on.

peytonmanning18,

Good to know that your wife is no longer having delusions. The symptoms sound like schizophrenia, but schizophrenia usually manifests in the 20s and do not go away without daily medication. So the fact that her delusions seem to be gone without treatment is interesting.

She no longer feels people are monitoring her -- but when she talks about the past, does she talk about it as if it actually happened? Or does she realize those were delusions?

As long as she is seeing a psychiatrist for *something* it's a good idea, just in case the delusions come back. Good luck.

are you concerned your DD was a first time thing and not just a one time thing? Have you talked to anyone close (family?) about this?