therapeutic writing

I think that you guys should have some optimism right now regarding your health system. I mean, isn't the new president intending to reform the whole thing? Whatever happens, I doubt that it will be as bad as it was in the previous years.

Sunnyg, the only other way to get over such things is to talk about them - talk, talk, talk, and then talk some more. By talking, you are 'releasing' a whole lot of stuff inside. So, I think that you should either write lots here about it or else arrange to see a counsellor. The anti-psychotics wouldn't take something like this away - no drug would. From now on, it's all about how you manage the memory, because it won't simply vanish.

s

Hi Sunny, I do think talking about it keeps the memories alive. It would be a different matter if it was something you could resolve definitively by talking about it, but because you can't, I think talking (or thinking) about it is the wrong approach.

Jeffrey M. Schwartz, a psychiatrist, developed a therapy for OCD where people have to think about something different the moment they think about their OCD obsession. Brain scans showed that after 6 months their brains are physically changing. I don't know if this could be of help to you, but I think it is worth checking out. He wrote a book about it, and his therapy is also described in the book: "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge, pages 164 and 176 in my copy. I actually do think for someone with DD who has insight, this could be of help. I tried to get my husband to do this, but he refuses because he doesn't think he is ill. For it to work the obsessive thoughts have to be "ego-dystonic" meaning that the person has to say: these thoughts are just the manifestation of illness, THEY ARE NOT ME.

Anyway, I think it is worth checking out, and would love to hear your thoughts on it.

Take Care

Actually, Sunny, just to add to my previous post, when I used the term 'ego-dystonic' I used it in relation to the illness (DD) as a whole, I did not mean to imply that nothing inappropriate happened during the birth of your daughter, but since you've said you can't know for sure what exactly happened, thinking about it only prolongs the pain, (which of course you know and don't need me telling you so.)

peace2u, the strategy that you mentioned there was one which was taught to me by my therapist. She told me to just 'dismiss' a troublesome thought when it entered my head and just think of something else. If a person keeps doing this, the 'alternative' pathway that is generated in the brain eventually just becomes a 'bypass' (i.e. - it bypasses the troublesome/stressful thought).

You're right, the more you think about something, the more vivid it becomes. However, using the above strategy, you canuse thi to your advantage.

Again, however, talking constructively/logically about something can allow yuo to 'break it up' - if you can imagine - such that it no longer has a potent 'kick' when you think about it.

Kevin

s

That sense of compelling intrigue? i'm not sure that I know what you are referring to exactly. When I get an OCD thought in my head, nothing else in the world matters but getting that thought 'seen to', if you know what I mean. The longer I go without addressing the thought, the more stressed and tense I feel.

s

Sunny:

I could be WAY out of line here, as I'm not a doctor, so forgive me if I am. It's just my opinion.

Reading between the lines regarding your doctor, I'm assuming his inappropriate conduct was of a sexual nature. Wanted or unwanted, sexual touch causes the body to have a chemical reaction. Though your mind may not be on board, your body still wants to respond. In cases of UN-wanted sexual stimulation, there is quite a bit of psychological distress because your mind and body are not in sync. There is guilt about your body responding when you didn't want it to. This distress often happens with children who are victims of sexual abuse (because while their minds are afraid and repulsed, their bodies respond to the stimulation, which then causes guilt). The chemicals released cause what is known as "imprinting", where the experience becomes "imprinted" on the mind. This is why your memory of the experience is SO vivid no matter how long ago it happened, whereas what you did last week may not be so memorable. The same is true with frightening experiences, where adrenaline is released. Adding to that, any RECALL of those events will trigger the same chemical reaction. All this is to say that the doctor experience, if it was of a sexual nature, caused your body to release chemicals, which then caused a vivid imprint. Every time you recall this event, your body releases chemicals (rushing feeling). Your body is responding to the memory of the stimulation even though your mind says it was a "bad" thing.

I'm torn about my advice to you, as I don't want to go against what your doctor says or what other people in this forum have advised you. I can only speak from my own experience. Normally, I would agree with Chucky on dismissing bad thoughts immediately as a way to be rid them. The thinking being you do NOT want them to get a foothold in the mind. However, because of the chemical release associated with sexual experience memory, it ALREADY has a foothold. We need to get rid of it. In my experience, the only way to DE-sensitize a chemical reaction memory is to hash it out over and over until it loses its power. It's the same dynamic present in addictions (only in this case it's useful), where people need more and more to get the same rush, as the original dose is no longer enough. You want to wear out the doctor image, so it no longer gives a rush, where it becomes boring. I have done this by talking to a trusted friend who understands I need to repeat myself, writing LOTS about the event (personal diary), sketching pictures of the event, back to talking, then writing again...and again...until it is bland and boring.

Only you know what is right for you. I do want to say that I do not have a delusional disorder, so I may be giving you the worst advice ever. What works for most people may not be the right thing for you. Let Chucky and peace2u come back and respond or counterpoint my post before you make any decisions. Hope this helps.....

Hi Sunny, in answer to your question about whether one can pick any topic to think about or whether it has to be the same happy thought: Jeffrey Schwartz says it could be any thought, or anything to divert one's attention. It does not have to be a thought, but could be an activity that is absorbing and enjoyable. For instance if you play a musical instrument, and it is possible to go to it, (say your piano), right away and start playing, that could work. Or if you are driving somewhere in your car and you can turn on music to listen to, or listen to a book on tape that could work as well. The key is that it should be an enjoyable activity. It also has to be absorbing (compelling, as you say), so that you get 'lost' in it (has to focus all your attention on it.)

Hope this helps.

Hi Bri, I hear what you are saying about hashing thoughts over and over to desensitize one to them. However, in my own life I've not been able to desensitize myself to thoughts by thinking about them, rather I've kept thoughts alive for years in this way, and only when I used Jeffrey Schwartz methods have I been able to free myself from painful thoughts.

Of course this does not mean that one should not think about and discuss with someone, preferably a therapist, one's problems. I am a firm believer in good therapy.

Take care.

Hi Kevin, I think we are on the same page.
On a different topic, thanks for the work you do as moderator on this forum, it is appreciated.

Peace.