therapeutic writing

Sunny

Sunny

Hi Sunny,
I'm glad you're doing so well. May I ask what dose you're on now? As you may remember, I was off of the abilify for an entire year, during which I did quite well. Then suddenly, all hell broke loose. I don't want to discourage you, though. I think you have youth on your side. And it depends on the stressors in your life and how you deal with them. It sounds like you have good coping skills and your husband is supportive. Luckily, when I had this last episode, my husband encouraged me to go back to the doctor and I did. My first episode was post partum, also. Undone

Sunny

Hi Sunny, glad that you are doing so well My son has been offered ability in jail. ( still in jail) do you know what the doses are. Does physical size play a role? I have no idea if he is taking it, last I knew he's refused all meds. Not surprising. Take care

Hi Sunny,
I hope you do well on the 10 mg. I'm glad you have been doing so well. The signs and symptoms are often cyclical. I felt better when I was your age and did not need to be on medication at that time. I went several years between episodes. Best wishes, Undone

Sunny

Hi Sunny,
Do you feel like things are under control with the 10 mg? As far as the memories of interactions with the doctor, remember that perception is skewed when you've been delusional. Occurances often seem interrelated when they aren't necessarily. I've resolved to the fact that I'll probably have to be on medication indefinitely. I have anxiety and depression at times, but at least I'm thinking realistically now. I was genetically set up for this illness, as my father was ill. Was anyone in your family ill?

Sunny

You know, it would be helpful to keep a diary of these thoughts and see if you're perception changes as your dose is adjusted. I know how real things can seem, and I think there may be a grain of truth to some of the things I believed. But I think I was wrong about the majority of things. A lot of it was wishful thinking.
As for boundaries, I once had a doctor who was flirtatious with me. Then I became delusional about him, so I switched to a female doctor. My primary doctor is great. I like that he calls me by my first name. I've never had any delusional thoughts about him whatsoever. On a positive note, at least you don't have to have any more contact with this doctor. I understand the anger you feel. It's very angering to have something dominate your thoughts. It can lesson your enjoyment of other things.
I've learned over time that if I find myself ruminating over something someone said, I immediately ask him/her what he/she meant. This can prevent problems or distorted perceptions from escalating. This is part of reality orientation. I know you've learned a lot from your experience. Hang in there. Undone