Delusion of soiling one's self.

I was fortunate enough to have found this forum today, as I believe I need to finally treat whatever mental disorder it is that I have. From what I have researched, I believe I have somatic delusional disorder.

It all started a while ago when I used to smoke a lot of weed. I was never paranoid at all from smoking it, and I must've been doing it for about 4 months before anything happened.
I very occasionally smoked at college. On one occasion I went out to the woods with two friends and had a joint. As the high hit me I suddenly felt like I had wet myself. I obviously didn't tell the other guys but I swear I had.
I was totally convinced, I had clothes in my bag as I was going to stay at a friend's so I sneaked to some toilets to change.
I was convinced for the rest of the day that I had wet myself.
It took a long time for me to feel better.

Another time at college I smoked again thinking nothing would happen a second time.
But it did, and I sketched out so bad and waited outside the college
for an hour and a half till the bus came because all the people made
me really paranoid. I was still convinced even though I was on my own.

I was fine in normal situations, just whenever I got high I was paranoid I had wet myself.
Then it started getting worse, I'd start to feel like it in everyday situations, and eventually it got so bad I stopped smoking weed alltogether.
I would sketch out whenever I went to city centre for the day
and two friends I trusted with my problem would have to meet
me at the bustops. That was in the summer.
When I came back to college it was hell. It made me late for lessons and somehow I started believing I had crapped myself too.
The thing is, all the reassurance from the friends I trusted made me
a lot more confident and they helped me a lot, but I would still sketch out.
I have to take piss breaks in between every lesson to kinda guarantee
it's not going to happen. I know that it's a total delusion. I have never
soiled myself, but I still feel like I have.

Ultimately, it is stopping me being who I used to be last year.
I was fully confident and I could walk through the big groups of
people sitting outside on the grass and feel good about myself
but now I rush to the other side to my friends and hate being
anywhere by myself as I have no reassurance.

I am fine at home, I'm fine at a friends house, but in places with lots
of people, or people I'm not comfortable around, it triggers off the condition.

Any help would be very much appreciated, some ideas for medication or therapy.. anything

Drugs can perturb this kind of thing; I've of heard of people on heavier psychedellics perceiving that they had soiled themselves, but never marijuana.

I don't think you need medication, as it's all in your head (you've said so yourself). This has continued even though you have stopped your drug use?

I would say that this is some sort of weird anxiety reponse or paranoia thing... perhaps you've conditioned yourself connect soiling yourself with situations you find uncomfortable/upsetting? (that's a total shot in the dark)

My advice to you is go sober for a couple weeks and keep good diet and sleep patterns and see if it persists. The fact that you're aware its a delusion is good; just keep working on reassuring yourself and setting goals for improvement (i.e. skipping a bathroom break when you know it's unnecessary, or something along those lines).

Yeah. But about once a month I get high with some mates when it gets particularly bad as it seems to make me feel better for the week following.

But yes, it happens everyday I go somewhere.

Hmm I guess that makes sense even if it is a little obscure.

It's been around just less than a whole year now and I've been
dealing with it a bit better but it suddenly got worse again after returning to college after a half term break.
So I think it's about time to do something about it, I'm not sure.
I think I will probably go to my doctor.

I would advise never smoking again as a 1st step. It seems to have triggered something in your brain.

You know the old joke - "Dr, it hurts when I do this." Dr says, "then don't do this anymore. Now you're cured."

Quit smoking weed, and/or get new friends who don't smoke.

Hi There,

I have the exact same problem, almost to the letter. My problem started out in Amsterdam with 2 other friends, we paid for a weeks holiday there. We were frequent users of the drug, in fact we smoked every night, on school nights, even more on weekends, and even though this interrupted and hindered my study slightly, we still went on.

Whilst in Amsterdam I was sitting in a Cafe and I was wearing blue jeans. The sensation was much like a switch being thrown on, I looked down at my jeans and even my eyes deceived me, looking at the right inner part of my crotch the jeans material was far darker, this of course provoked the thought of, "Have I wet myself?", I went to the bathroom to check and of course nothing, however I was left with a very confident feeling that I had. I went to Dam early last year, and still to date I have the same problem if not more that I started out with.

I have continued to smoke the drug and have found that the effects are getting worse. When somebody questions me or puts me on the spot, the fear and anxiety of answering wrong is awful, I become very flustered and sweaty, my forehead palms and tummy become very sweaty and this makes me anxious people will see the sweat and that makes it worse.

I also have problems with walking through large crowds, I fear that people are looking and laughing at me when I can't see them, and feeling like you've wet yourself in public only makes it worse. I have skipped whole terms of lectures at University just because I fear that the crowds attend are too large.


- This sounds wrong and stupid, but something I found helpful was to stand in my shower fully clothed and actually wet myself. The differentiation between sensations gives you something to focus on and helps you understand that you're not actually wetting yourself in public at all, what you're feeling is just a sensation of paranoia.