I think I have something

Hi, I just want to talk to another human being is my hope. I want to be suffering from delusions. My entire outlook on reality changed and it only took something (not me in my own body) 4 weeks. I don't know where I am anymore. I go outside and look up at the sky and see things that used to be clouds but are now streaks across the sky. What are they teaching kids in school what clouds are now? I saw the sun screwed in like a lightbulb. It hasn't snowed and it is December. A lot of TV channels look fake now. Extra words and crap sometimes from my thoughts are in TV shows. God or whatever literally through my tv told me that life is about progression otherwise I might as well not be here. I was fine working and watching TV. There is a telepathic something on my forehead which I don't really want to use or care much about because it seems to be connected to highly manipulative dicks. This similar issue happened to me last year but I kind of ignored it. Now there are just way to many syncronicieteies in my life for it to be just a coincidence anymore. My TV and radio has a lot of harassment on it. Whatever it is likes to talk through stories and analologies and raidio. Some days I wish the whatever it is would just take me out of Time already like it did before and either put me back to 2020 or just that's it. If the world ended why the F am I still here? I now seem to live in a simulated reality or a highly manipulated one. It only took a short while for me to learn the government isn't really what I once thought it was nor are creation stories. I might get it to keep a good job I have because there is still money and I have a body and my whole life was taught to eat sleep take care of responsibilities etc but now don't know what its for really. I hope it would stop all the radio harassment and bring back media if I got the shot but the crap on my TV and radio lies so I don't know. Oh and I don't know what the Covid shot is for Any comments?

Hi Idunno123,

Welcome to psychforums... I hope you find the support you seek here, and I hope you feel better. I've found help through talking with a psychiatrist, treatment, and growing healthy coping skills. Granted it doesn't cure my illness, and my core trauma haunts me. When I'm not feeling well, I avoid tv, and other recorded programs because they are programming, and not helpful when dealing with illness. What helps is human connection, having conversations, talking. There are warm ear lines and NAMI has support groups, many communities have clubhouses, too. These are healthy options to pursue. I too work. Best wishes with getting the care you need! National Alliance on Mental Illness has a great booklet called Navigating a Mental Health Crisis. You can search for it on your browser, and it will help you find care in your community. Peace and hope you feel better soon - and find the care you deserve!

Sunny

I found that my delusions when young stemmed from over trauma with no help. I attempted to fit in; I had to believe the people around me were on my side. When in reality I was a stranger to the world. I needed help and thought others could see this or were decent enough to see this; In reality; I Was not in a frame work for them to judge me correctly. I found myself at others homes thinking they were my saviors; when young; and they must have been sent to help me; God sent them; I needed to believe this. In reality; no one was sent from God in the direction I was heading. Looking back; I told myself that specific people; when up close; because of there behavior and the way they looked at me; I was right; they did like me, and thought they were on my side. And I created a giant narrative of such things. Later; all things fell through. I was brutally wrong. No one was my friend and those people were not who I thought they were. I was devastated. Later under therapy realizing I had been delusional the whole time I had to admit no evidence ever existed to even suggest I had been invited properly to meet these people; it was all in my head. I had taken strangers and tried to mold them into false relationships within my head. In reality; They were just strangers; and I was a quiet mentally ill person who kept showing up around without being invited. I assume they were just being polite and nice when in reality they were concerned and nervous about having me show up. They were scared.
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I didn't know this was a specific disorder.