Delusional Disorder and break-ups

Hi, I’m new to this forum- my bf of 7 years left our shared home in March after accusing me of some pretty strange things. He didn’t recognize a shirt in his closet and told me that I put it there either because of my infidelity and/or because I might be in a cult (neither is the case). He had a whole elaborate set of stories and connections to explain his paranoia. To note-he had episodes of psychosis and hospitalization in his early 20s, but never a formal SZ diagnosis. We’ve had two other episodes together- always stemming from him thinking I’m trying to give him signals that I am in a cult (a satanic one?). Otherwise the relationship was loving, communicative and strong. He is in his late 40s.
He left the day of “the shirt,” saying that he needed to know whether he was going “crazy” again (he has limited insight into his early psychosis), or if being with me is the problem. He did talk about signs from god as well, and is retreating to religion very quickly.
He communicates occasionally if I lead, and has so far been willing to deal with the legal/mortgage issues of our shared home, but he says he wants nothing to do with me. He hasn’t really expressed any concern for my well-being. He does not want to pursue therapy individually or together.
He is almost unrecognizable when we talk-both in tone and just something different in his face and body language. He is still working, and his friends say he seems sad but ok. He has been vague about his reasons for leaving when they ask.
My questions are: if he doesn’t want me around, at what point do I just give up and leave him alone?
How do I process what happened without a formal diagnosis? Could I be wrong and he is just fine?
Does DD really just come out of the blue like that? He seemed fine the day before, we were making plans for a vacation.
Is there anything else I can do for him? Will he get worse?
Is it ok to be angry?
Thanks, this has been a rough 2 months.

Hello, and welcome to the forums!

I think unless someone wants to get help, it might be some time to see if it settles down?

And as for being angry, I think that's only human. You understand it's an illness, but still, it's got to make a person angry. If you need to let some of that out, I'd suggest Significant Others, Family & Friends as a place to vent- and if you really, really need to vent, we have a Venting forum in the Off Topic section, I think it is. You have to also think about your mental well-being through this.

As for it coming 'out of the blue', it isn't really. I mean if he's had a history of it. Perhaps you've been lucky that he went as long as he did. But then, things have been kind of rough on everyone for a little over a year, now. I'm OCD- I'm not DD (that I know of)- I know I get mighty close to delusional beliefs on occasion, and stress flares my OCD up sometimes. Has work been extra stressful for him, or anything else- as if 2020 hadn't been enough to drive half the planet mad.

I think if I were in your shoes I'd contact him on a limited basis but unless you can involuntarily get him into some help, he's going to have to want it... maybe if you just be like fine we won't talk, he'll remember he had a relationship and start to miss it.