This is my first post here. I’m not even sure if this is the right forum, but I meed some advice. Sorry in advance, this will be a bit long.
I’m an American student studying in China. I live on campus with a roommate, another American, who is also in most of the same classes as me. From the beginning (2 months ago) she was very quiet and somewhat lethargic, but neither of these things bothered me and we’ve had a pretty peaceful cohabitation so far.
In the past week, things have changed drastically. I noticed she began doing little inexplicable things; keeping the window shut constantly, tossing my things onto my side of the room if I accidentally left them laying around. Then, 2 days ago as I was preparing to head out for class, she asked me suddenly if I had a “problem” with her. I confusedly said no, and when I asked her why she thought that, she responded that she kept “hearing my name everywhere”. This made as little sense in context as it does here, but she somewhat coldly dropped the subject when I assured her I had nothing against her.
When I returned from class, she briefly stepped out almost immediately; when she returned, her mood had gone from her usual stoic silence to genuine anger. She accused me of insulting her on very petty points (her weight, skin color, etc) to other students around campus, and further stated that my comments, and comparisons between her and myself, were now being widely discussed. I obviously denied everything and, thinking there was some misunderstanding, asked her who had been saying these things.
This is where things became odd: despite my asking multiple times, she would not name names, or even describe the people supposedly badmouthing her, but kept insisting that “everyone” was talking about her. She said she had been hearing my name “40 times a day” over the past few days, and that she had also heard my voice yelling “I hate her” repeatedly outside, while gesturing towards the sole window in our dorm room. At this point I remembered her sudden habit of keeping the window closed at all times; the window looks out over a large courtyard, one can only hear what people outside are saying if they’re shouting. I eventually got her to specify that she overheard our classmate outside, saying “she ought to tell her” in Chinese, to a male voice who replied “She won’t/didn’t tell her”. I don’t know how this dialouge was supposed to relate to the issue at hand. Please note that the accused classmate is extremely uncomfortable speaking Chinese in any context, let alone gossiping loudly outdoors.
Still thinking that there was some misunderstanding, I became upset and teary. Besides denying any wrongdoing I asked her to tell me immediately the next time she heard any such comments, so that I could confront the people in question. By this time I was suspicious that these things could not be happening in reality, but I didn’t try to argue with her on that point. She calmed down, though I’m not sure what exactly made her suddenly passive. When I asked if anything else had made her think I hated her, she made vague comments about how we needed to mutually help keep our room clean, and pointed out that i often left the toilet cover down, as though doing so was a clear sign of ill will towards her. When she eventually apologized if she had falsely accused me, she offered me some tea in an abruptly cheerful way. For the rest of that day she was her usual (stoic, untalkative) self.
The next day at 6 am, when I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet, she repeated the same charges against me, only this time with certainty that was genuinely disturbing. She claimed to be hearing my name constantly, and at that moment gestured to the men outside chatting in what might have been Urdu, saying incredulously “You don’t hear it?” She refused to hear anything I had to say and produced a list of other dorm rooms that had vacancies, which i now realize she must have gotten the day she first confronted me, saying that if I had a problem with her then I should move out. When it became clear we were at an impasse I silently prepared to head out for the day, while she sat on her bed staring into space for what must have been 15 minutes.
Since that discussion, which was yesterday morning, I have been avoiding her entirely; I went by the room briefly to get items I absolutely needed, with classmates watching over me, and am now sleeping on the floor of someone else’s room. I obviously can’t know exactly what she’s experiencing, but the thigs she’s saying have led me to believe she’s hearing things that are not really there, at the very least, and that it’s not safe for me to be around her. Today is Sunday; tomorrow morning, I plan to go to the dorm manager’s office as soon as it opens, and ask for a new dorm assignment far away from her.
So here is my question (finally): besides moving out of the room, is there anything else I can do to improve this situation? We have the same curriculum, so I will still have to see her in class (although her attendance is very poor), and the thought of that fills me with dread. On the other hand, she has never threatened me in any way, and the Chinese government is extremely unsympathetic towards the mentally ill (to the point that she could be deported or even imprisoned if evidence of her illness was sufficient) so I’m hesitant to report her delusions to anyone. She probably needs help but we are in a country that is notoriously poor at providing it. Another problem is the language barrier; my Chinese is decent, but I am not at all fluent enough to descibe this situation accurately to anyone beyond “I don’t feel safe around my roommate, I must move as soon as possible”. I don’t have any way to contact her family or friends. I don’t know what else to do. Any advice would be appreciated.