I feel like I've seen too much to accept I'm delusional?

Does anyone feel like there is other layers or something sort of "behind" what we know and accept as reality? Things that interact with us but on a level were not aware of?

I've been slightly paranoid my whole life. Had ideas but never really embraced it? Didnt know if it was abnormal but just ignored it and tried to function.

Right now. Big breakup, traumatizing situation might have made it worse.. bur I've seen things and thought things that I can NEVER accept as delusional.

It would take me forever to explain all of it. You see answers in music and music videos, small hints and tips.

I feel like certain people can almost touch this seperate part but no one has full understanding. Like they just *know* and are a little curious but dont dig too deep.

I dug... deep.. and I'm really lonely, in wish I could discuss this stuff with someone.

I basically moved out and decided I would explore these thoughts in a safe place by myself to see where they go. And I definitely went too far, though I could NEVER go back and I dont regret it.

I sometimes feel like I have a sixth sense. I sometimes know things i shouldn't, theres a part of me.. not voices but thoughts? Almost machine like? And insert of turn them into words. So i have a voice or two inside of me but the identity doesnt come at me as "voices" unless I make it that way. Hard to explain, but it's there 24/7 and constant at the same rate like someone firing a machine gun into my mind. I dont hate it.

I've seen a LOT that I cant explain and csnt accept as not real. I want to be able to discuss these things with someone, were suppose to forget if we see anything and I cant and wont and dont want to.

Has anyone else get a little too high (not drugs, mental state) and not able to come down or forget and now sees the world in a whole different light? Even outright seeing parts of things in behavior of people or even slight "hallucinations" but ones cant accept as not real? I use to have images and videos but realized sharing them would just mess up someone else's life as were not capable of truly functioning being aware of the different mental levels.

See, I could go on for ever. I love it, but it I'm lonely in thatsense. I have to keep it to myself, cant discuss, cant share it.

I dont want to do this alone. Is anyone out there that is in my position? Decided to, lol, "stare into the abyss" giving no shits about what happens next?

It's like my mind has gone too far and cant accept anything in this entire world as everyone else does. Feeling more like children at school.. or animals in a zoo not realizing they're in one?

This world, the way it works in ny mind is something I'll never doubt again...it's good.