I think my wife has dd pls help

A month and a half ago my wife said she wanted a divorce. She didn't give much explanation just that she didn't love me anymore. We have been together since high school for sixteen years and married for ten. I was/am crushed but there was nothing I could do. we have a loving relationship, great sex life, spend time together etc... We have two kids under 9. She is a stay at home mom, doesn't drive or have any friends. A week before she broke up with me she started acting strange...
She became withdrawn and sad the week before she broke up with me. She was talking to herself and laughing at nothing. I agreed to sleep in the basement and delay the divorce until she got a job and on her feet. A couple days passed and that's when the delusions started.
She told me one day she could read minds and give people visions. She said our son had this ability too. She also said my aunt tried to poison her and was a witch. Two days of this passed and she was in full blown panic. I took her to the hospital and they released her saying it was a panic attack even though she said she was suicidal and having delusions. We went home and a few days later the delusions were worse. She was taking all the light fixtures off the ceiling saying my brother put cameras in them so he could watch us. She said my brother also is trying to poison me so he could have her all to himself. Every gesture and thing I said "meant something" and she became very suspicious of me.
Two weeks ago she accused me of molesting my kids and raping her repeatedly over the last sixteen years. She left with the kids to go to her moms house and refused contact with me or the children. She then took an order of protection out against me. While she was at her parents she accused her brother of molesting the kids as well but her family refuses to get her help and think I'm a terrible person. She painted this abusive and controlling picture of me which is completely unfounded.
I took her to court to fight the order of protection and filed for a separation to force the custody issue. It didn't go well. I got supervised custody on the weekends and the judge bought her every word. I pulled my petition and am now filing for a divorce. A divorce I don't want but feel I have no choice bc I need to fight for my kids and this defamation. I pulled my petition and filed for divorce to get a new judge who will hopefully see she has mental health issues. I'm beyond heartbroken.
Do people snap out of this and realize what they've done? What should I do? I love her with all my heart but she is ruining my life. I'm scared for my kids. I can't just roll over. She screamed I'm a child molesting pig in front of my nine year old and I could lose my job over this order of protection.

this isn't the woman that you married. and she may never be that woman again. if you're pulling your punches here, don't. she isn't. you need to protect yourself and your children. you can't be responsible for her too, especially whilst she's attacking you.

For sure I know. It just hurts. I'm putting a provision in the divorce that if she chooses to get help, I will delay or withdraw my petition and wait until she is ready for the divorce or wants to reconcile. I'm not to hopeful though.

sadly, people that are delusional tend to loose all grasp of reality, including considering that it might actually be them. unless something happens that really stop them dead in their tracks, they just keep doing this. and your wife is being supported against you by her family. so, they're effectively reinforcing her delusionality. as such, i honestly don't hold out much hope of this turning around. of the divorce, i'd have to say don't withdraw it unless she actually recovers from this delusionality. all you'll do by withdrawing it prematurely is weaken your own position. you need to be pushing back as hard as possible. i'm not saying that will get her to see things for what they really are but any signs of weakness on your behalf will only serve to justify her delusions in her eyes.

I don't want a divorce I love her. I guess I have to look at it like I'm divorcing the current version of my wife and marriage

the question you have to ask yourself is: does she love you? if she doesn't, it's time to move on. i know that sounds cold and heartless but, sadly, it's the truth.

That's what she said but her actions before the delusions paint a much different picture.

Do they ever snap out of it and feel remorse?

Stutteringjohn wrote:Do they ever snap out of it and feel remorse?

... in my opinion, these things are like a snowball. they gather momentum and their initial causality gets completely lost in that process. also, you don't know what resentments may have been building in her mind before all this became apparent to you. from what you say, she seems to have been very insular. as such, she may well not have been very well grounded for a very long time. it's easy to get things out of proportion when you've no one to confide in other than the person you might want to confide about. and you've already said that her family think you're a terrible person. who knows what seeds of doubt they've planted in her mind. not that i imagine any of this helps you any.

i think you have to accept that only she can change this situation. by all means give her every opportunity to do that. and make this blatantly obvious to her. but don't let your guard down. i don't get the impression that she's in any mood for compassion or mercy. and, as things stand, i don't think she'll show you any. she seems to thoroughly hate you now.

Thanks for all the responses! I was told her parents are starting to see it too now. She told them a lot of lies about me and I can't fault them for believing her. I'm just so worried about her. I'm not mad at her either even after she ruined my life. I know it's not really her. I still love her deeply and know this isn't the same woman I used to adore.