Need serious help, council. Help. Please. *may trigger*

The last two years of my life have been a living hell - torment un ending, a living hell. I haven't been able to put two word's together in the past, i felt as if it was pointless because the torment has seemed never ending. It's been un imaginable and i haven't been able to reach out at all - not properly. I can through writing though, and i've found it in me to write today.

I guess to start you could just ask me what's happened, and that would be a start - and I could try and expand from there? It hasn't only been just the last two years, been these have been the worst - i've thought about suicide very seriously and just kept breaking down, i couldn't stop breaking down in short spurts of hurt. I was considering killing my family and then ending it with myself - I woke up a "patriot" - You could ask what that word means if you care to? I've been homeless, I've slept on the sides of highways, woke up in the pouring rain, under sheds, abandoned - I couldn't open up to family, they just wouldn't get it - they don't seem to care to. Im just asking if could care to listen or talk?

rugger1994 wrote:The last two years of my life have been a living hell - torment un ending, a living hell. I haven't been able to put two word's together in the past, i felt as if it was pointless because the torment has seemed never ending. It's been un imaginable and i haven't been able to reach out at all - not properly. I can through writing though, and i've found it in me to write today.

I guess to start you could just ask me what's happened, and that would be a start - and I could try and expand from there? It hasn't only been just the last two years, been these have been the worst - i've thought about suicide very seriously and just kept breaking down, i couldn't stop breaking down in short spurts of hurt. I was considering killing my family and then ending it with myself - I woke up a "patriot" - You could ask what that word means if you care to? I've been homeless, I've slept on the sides of highways, woke up in the pouring rain, under sheds, abandoned - I couldn't open up to family, they just wouldn't get it - they don't seem to care to. Im just asking if could care to listen or talk?

If you are delusional, you will feel that some things are true (ie, nobody cares about you) but they are NOT true. These delusions are your worst fears taking over your brain. Medication and meditation are very important for you to learn to control your thoughts.

What do you mean by "patriot"?