Need an Opinion

Writing on this forum seems a bit strange to me, but at this point I feel that I might need an opinion on what to do.

My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a little over a year. When we first started dating, I wasn't aware of any "delusional" thoughts he might be having. But as time when on he told me that he thought I might have spies that follow him, his friends were drugging his cigarettes, that am cheating on him, and other things. The good news is, he never seems out of control. He never accuses anyone of anything, but these thoughts still affect his mental state. The thought of me cheating on him with several people seems to be the most problematic. He has said he can't take it anymore, it's like he had a dream that I am cheating on him and knows it's a dream, but still feels depressed and angry about it. I don't know what to do to help him, and it's and to imagine what he feels like. I'm not cheating on him, and I've told him that many times, but the conversation comes up often. I think that he should see a doctor and get diagnosed with something. He's been to a doctor before but they did not diagnose him with anything other than substance abuse (marijuana) and anxiety/depression. I'm confused to as why they didn't think it was anything else. It might be because he is good at controlling his outward emotions, but I'm not sure. We are both in college though, so I'm not sure how realistic it is for him to be able to see a doctor. I just want to help him, because I love him very much and I hate to see him in having to deal with these thoughts, because I know it is hard on him. If anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate it very much.

Hi, I suffer from delusions as well of being watched (home, away, monitored at all moments). When I accepted this delusion as some form of truth I questioned if I should care about walking naked through my home to the laundry room for clothes lol. I like going out in public, getting ready to go out the door seems more fun than actually going out to a store or something out of exhaustion of looking over my shoulder. It has increased with a passing manic episode that lasted for quite a while. While I accept these as delusions I also accept these as possibilities. About a month ago I was standing in my driveway by the garage where a couple floodlights were mounted. It started humorously like hah maybe theirs a camera there that would explain a lot (probably not) so I'd shoot it the bird every time I was alone near it entering the house because of this hidden camera garage door conspiracy so it was in the afternoon and I just looked at it and said to myself well if it's in your head...so I ripped it off the fixture. The light never worked to begin with. Turned out to be a sensor but it almost doesn't matter made me feel so stupid and relieved by the halarity of you just ripped down a bunch of wires because you think "they" are watching you. It somehow helped and put things into perspective and make me feel kind of me again. Now i haven't ripped the dish off the house smashed the smoke detector and crawling above the ceiling for monitoring devices. But the delusion is still there. But like your boyfriend I've kept enough of a composure to not be worse off and it's good your concerned. These thoughts are intrusive and obsessive but like your boyfriend it hasn't gone away for me either. Honestly I'm just waiting patiently for it to end (the delusions). I'd like to think it says a lot about someone's strength to walk through life for an extended amount of time without winding up hospitalized or in crises but to push through such misery is something to be proud of and remaining strong.

Well one advice I have is definitely don’t marry him. Delusional disorder is a lifelong condition and it can be managed with a variety of possibly drugs and psychotherapy but I’m telling you living with somebody like that is hell and my husband didn’t have delusional disorder when we got married. But I’m very glad that you want to help him that you care enough to do that. Does he recognize that these are delusions and if he’s been to the Dr. it sounds like he might know he needs help? Substance-abuse can cause delusions and paranoia - I know that I was never more full of conspiracy theories and paranoia than when I was smoking pot. But I don’t even normally have any such tendencies so if someone did that could be part of the cause of his paranoia. So for one, stopping any substance abuse would be a good start. But a family doctor would not have experience with something like DD he would have to see a psychologist trained in that to be properly diagnosed. DD is very rare. I would recommend you research and find a therapist/psychologist who specifically has experience in DD and suggest to him to see that person for an assessment. But be careful.

It's been a while and a lot has happened. We broke up last month. There seemed to be many reasons but one of them was that he could never trust someone "like me". I don't exactly know what to make of the break up. I found myself questioning who I am as a person a lot. And I've gotten progressively more angry at him. I think that's the only way I can get over him; just reminding myself that he's not innocent of every little thing just because he has a disorder. That I shouldn't be a victim to manipulation just because he feels manipulated at every moment. It was for the best. And I wish I didn't have to say that because he had this problem it was for the best. I wish he would have called his therapist. I wish he would have gotten help. It seems like a lot of the posts on these forums end up like this unfortunately.