Friends

I woke up at the usual around 12PM (it's summer) and I "saw" all of my three friends by the window the instant I woke up, but when I blinked, they were gone. I was quite scared. I also see my friends when I am (learning to) ride motorcycles, although it's rare. I sometimes think they came to my home and left before I woke up. I do not have the means to communicate with them to make sure they DID really come my home, but whenever I ask my parents, they always tell me "nobody came, why?"

It's like I am seeing my friends everywhere. To be honest I haven't REALLY seen them for more than one and half a month. But I think about them quite often because I have only three friends. Whenever an unknown contact calls me, I always think it comes from one of my friends. When my parents and sister have gone out, I am alone at home and I hear the voices of my friends calling my name. I even dream of my friends. I think it might be that I am hallucinating and have strong delusions. I also think I cannot trust my friends / they are against me and want to harm me. To be honest, I think my three friends are conspiring against me. I am bisexual and one of my friends is my ex, I always think he is giving head to some other guy. That is, I am afraid he is cheating me -- that's why we broke up.

What is it?