Delusions or paranoia?

Okay, so every once in a while I get in a state of extreme fear/paranoia....where the world in general just looks and feels creepy to me. Especially at night. I'll be in my own house and things like a cracked door, a family photo, even the wall can look creepy to me. And things just feel off but not in a way the I can even describe. And then I'll get this idea about something....in the past it has been that my mom and her fiance were plotting to kill me, that someone was going to break into the house at night and murder me, that my best friend and her boyfriend were plotting to kill me. They usually last a week or so and and the idea comes back every now and then. Usually a part of me knows that its not real but it feels extremely real. Recently the ides got put in my head that my boyfriend is a narcissist and I've on and off been extremely terrified of him, and I believed it to the point where I was crying because he was emotionally manipulating/abusing me, but when I'm with him im pretty sure that he's not. I've spent entire days reading about the signs your dating a narcissist and im not sure if he is one or if I've just convinced myself he is. I'm confused because when I'm in this paranoid/the world feels scary state and Im terrified to continue things with him in case he is but I'm also scared to ruin a good thing because I've just convinced myself of it. I literally cannot figure it out. I feel like my perception of the world isn't making sense. I've not been diagnosed with delusional disorder but its been mentioned before (I'm in therapy trying to figure this stuff out). Just wondering if this seems similiar to others experiences with delusions or if its extreme paranoia?

Dear puppylover224:

I used to think that people are trying to hurt me. If I was walking on the side of a road and a car came from behind me, I thought it may very well run me over on purpose. If I walked and there was a hole in the ground, i thought someone dug it on purpose so that I will fall. And then daily, if someone looks at me (that still goes on) I think they are thinking badly about me and are about to say or do something bad to me.

What I figured through therapy is that my mother attacked me out of nowhere, physically, histrionically and it was scary. Couldn't predict it. She would get angry and attack me. So I projected her into the drivers and people. Just like she looked at me funny before she attacked me, I get alarmed when people look at me. It is only this very morning that I saw my mother in my mind's eye coming at me wailing because I was making noise with the blender.

I am in the process of connecting my mother to the dangers she did inflict on me (so few memories though of my childhood) and freeing other people from my projection of my mother into them.

This is my experience. Anything you can relate to?

atina