I AM BATMAN!!!

I have had bipolar 1 sense I was young. When I was 17 I thought I was Jesus and god. Later in life I thought I was Buddha and a samurai hero. I thought mini me and mr.t were president. I thought I was Peter Pan at one point. I used to think the hospital I was in had the batman lair in it. Another time I thought the hospital was on Mars and was a giant pirate ship and all the people in it were my crew. Also I thought my roommate was my girlfriends dead dog so I left him money to buy a bone.

Lol... Does anyone have any funny delusions?

Dear RecoveryGuru:

I was never diagnosed with psychosis, but then I didn't see enough doctors. If I did, I am sure I could add more diagnoses to my existing collection. My delusions: being in an audience of a couple of churches I believed that the charismatic pastor was looking at me of all the people in the audience, looking into my eyes and directing special messages to me, messages indicating he is hopelessly in love with me.

I once dreamed that I was flying in the sky, just me. Then, for a long time I believed it was not a dream, and that I really flew up there in the sky.

I also believed I was someone special destined to be rich and famous, that I was definitely meant to be internationally famous.

atina

I still have grand feelings and big ideas, but I use them for good. Such as believing that enlightenment is somewhere beyond pain or I am meant for something great. I just tell myself that the great thing is my family and enlightenment is reachable everyday.

Dear RecoveryGuru:

And I figured that the reason I had to be Rich and Famous internationally is because i was so unspecial as a child, to my mother. This is so sad now when I think about it. I didn't understand it in the past. I made those grand dreams up of having millions of people give me a standing ovation, because I didn't have the simple appreciation from my mother. I remember little of my childhood but I do remember her saying: "You are a big nothing, a big Zero!" How that hurt! So I wanted the whole world to applaud me.

Your recent post made me think of this. Thank you. (not for the memory which I had before, but for the feeling from which I was dissociated from).

atina

Dear Atina,

I had trouble accepting that I was a hard worker. Teachers would call me lazy and to try harder when I was doing my best. It was not easy struggling with mental illness when I was young. Luckily my mother showed me how special I was. The reason I was grand was because I was bullied badly and got a big head from it. ( and I have psychotic symptoms)

I have some advice for you. It is who you choose to listen to that determines how special you feel. If I listen to the bullies, then I'm not special. If I listen to my mom I am very special.

Turn to someone you can trust that has a kind heart to know your special.

Dear RecoveryGuru:

I like your advice. I usually don't like advice, but I must say yours is a good one. Thank you!

atina