I love having schizophrenia

I saw a therapist a few weeks ago and she told me I have all the symptoms for schizophrenia.

I often have this sense that somebody is narrating my life. I can hear them talking and making comments about me- it's as if I view life in third person. I often feel this strange sense that ordinary life is just a thin shell over a reality that is so strange, abstract, and alien in comparison that merely contemplating can damage the sanity of a normal person. Whenever I look at things, I feel this sense of strange perfection that I can't even put into words. For instance, I could be sitting at a table drinking coffee and I hear the "narrator" say "Alex is sitting quietly enjoying his cafe mocha on this rusty bench" and suddenly everything in the whole Universe feels so perfect and complete. The narrator says "Alex is just a blonde boy who is enjoying his warm coffee this winter day" and once again I feel so complete and happy.

The point I want to make is that despite having all these symptoms for schizophrenia and being told by two therapists that I have an early onset of psychosis, I honestly can say that I ENJOY these "symptoms" very much. I never feel bored, in fact I feel such a deep appreciation and sense of "reward" from everything I do. It's as if my physical senses are heightened.

I could talk forever about my symptoms because there's just so much to talk about, and most of it can't even be put into words. But does anybody else feel this way?

I have heard schizophrenia if often associated with high dopamine levels. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with feeling "good", so maybe that's why I find it so enjoyable.

The elevated dopamine levels may have something to do with the feelings, most anti-psychotic meds are meant to regulate dopamine levels.

I have shared this experience in my past, but be advised that it will not last and to try hard to 'keep your head in the game'. Try to think objectively and be aware of your situation for what it really is. We both know that a false sense of security can be very dangerous. I suffered a psychotic break with Stockholm syndrome, and during the near-Fugue state I was in I felt happy, content, safe, fulfilled and complete. Calm and warm inside, happy to greet each new day. Totally oblivious to the filth I lived in, the weight I was losing, my disheveled appearance, or how I had totally withdrawn from society.

It's like wandering down the rabbit hole. Fall in and you might get stuck and have to wander your way out again.

You may also be feeling more understanding and acceptance of your problems, lending to a better mood. You are better at recognizing the symptoms. This alone is not enough to manage your condition, but it is a good sign that you are an intelligent person with some sensitivity about your body and life. See your doctor and follow their advice and you'll be able to cope. I don't want to be a buzz-kill here, but you won't be loving having schizophrenia all the time. How good you feel now is going to do a 180 on you at some time, which is why you need to see your doctor and prepare yourself by practicing the coping methods they give you.