I saw a therapist a few weeks ago and she told me I have all the symptoms for schizophrenia.
I often have this sense that somebody is narrating my life. I can hear them talking and making comments about me- it's as if I view life in third person. I often feel this strange sense that ordinary life is just a thin shell over a reality that is so strange, abstract, and alien in comparison that merely contemplating can damage the sanity of a normal person. Whenever I look at things, I feel this sense of strange perfection that I can't even put into words. For instance, I could be sitting at a table drinking coffee and I hear the "narrator" say "Alex is sitting quietly enjoying his cafe mocha on this rusty bench" and suddenly everything in the whole Universe feels so perfect and complete. The narrator says "Alex is just a blonde boy who is enjoying his warm coffee this winter day" and once again I feel so complete and happy.
The point I want to make is that despite having all these symptoms for schizophrenia and being told by two therapists that I have an early onset of psychosis, I honestly can say that I ENJOY these "symptoms" very much. I never feel bored, in fact I feel such a deep appreciation and sense of "reward" from everything I do. It's as if my physical senses are heightened.
I could talk forever about my symptoms because there's just so much to talk about, and most of it can't even be put into words. But does anybody else feel this way?
I have heard schizophrenia if often associated with high dopamine levels. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with feeling "good", so maybe that's why I find it so enjoyable.