Delusional or just paranoid?

I've had these symptoms for a few years though I've never really mentioned them to a therapist or a psychiatrist yet.

I often have delusions that I'm best friends with low key musicians or celebrities. I'm not sure where this has come from but it happens with quite a lot of things. I know it's not real but I tell myself that it is, I even lie to friends and family saying that I know these people or have spoken to them online.

I lie about quite a lot of things. Mainly so people think I'm cool, when actually I'm a loser who resides in her bedroom all day doing nothing, lol. I play on these lies, convincing myself that they're real so I don't feel bad about lying to someone. It's kind of a vicious cycle. I've been told that it's a good thing that I'm aware of lying but that still doesn't give me reason to stop.

Whenever I see an ambulance or a police car I'm convinced someone has called it for me. I'm not sure if this is linked to a past experience I've had with an ex calling the police on me or if it's because I'm paranoid someone has read something I've posted online and that I'm gonna be locked away for it. Every time I hear a siren I run and hide, most of the time I lock myself in the bathroom if I'm home alone.

I'm not sure if these are classed as delusions or if they come under the psychotic part of BPD, but it is something that happens quite often.

Maybe you should go to concerts and conventions and actually meet some famous people. Then it won't be a fantasy anymore.

Contro wrote:Maybe you should go to concerts and conventions and actually meet some famous people. Then it won't be a fantasy anymore.

Funnily enough I'm going to a convention later this month.

If it helps I used to do a similar thing with lies, fake people and all. For example I made up a brother along with loads of fake friends. Made them all MSN accounts, profiles on sites that were popular back then and talked to my real friends as them. They all thought I had a brother and all. I told myself it was real and even talked to myself as them so I felt better about it but I was aware it wasn't. When I was assessed they said it wasn't psychotic, just combination of BPD and being isolated. Don't know if it's the same thing, sounds similar tho.

Try to work on stopping the lies if you can, because eventually it'll get too much and then it's worse when you have to explain. I lost friends over admitting to my lies but I'm glad I did it, and I'm healthier for not doing it anymore.