How to determine what is "Real"

Value is subjective.

Realness is a value.

There are a lot of people who claim that the Self is not real or that love is not real (I disagree with both, btw).

But then, there are other people - doctors, spouses, parents, etc - who say that what certain people think is not real. They invent fancy words like 'delusions' or 'hallucinations' for things that they've never seen or heard - for things they cannot disprove...they can never disprove.

What is the criteria for something to be REAL?

All these fancy terms are thrown around nowadays and people conform their thinking to them, it is my opinion, who are we to define what life is with our limited knowledge? If something claims to have life and nothing says the opposite then who are we to fight it? Deal with our mental strife as though it is real, and you will conclude with a real result.