Can erotomania be non aggressive? I'm concerned I have it

Hi, I am very concerned that I have erotomania and I would really appreciate some advice.

I was under the impression that I didn't have it because I am not extreme in any way, but I read recently that symptoms can be peaceful. However I can find only extreme examples online, so I am sharing my story here for someone else to look at.

I do believe that a celebrity is interested in me. My friends and I went to several of this person's events and they kept saying the celebrity was watching me and, eventually, 'serenading' me, making affectionate gestures that she never made to anyone else and so on. Since then she has written several songs describing a fan precisely like me in looks, age, nationality, et cetera and referring to the events I attended. With my friends encouragement, I started to believe that she is in love with me. Now, I have also fallen in love with her and want it to be true. I have started to believe that some of her public behavior (like tweets) may be 'messages' to me, and I have excused some things that disprove my theory as cover ups, and I know this is a symptom. I have some spiritual beliefs in telepathy, astral projection and so on- could this be a warning sign as well?

As I said, I am not extreme, I would never stalk or attempt to contact her, unless she spoke directly about or to me. I am aware of my behavior, so I question it constantly, and did not believe in this until my friends encouraged me. I would not react aggressively and with denial if somebody proved to me that my beliefs are untrue. I would only be very upset. My friends think my beliefs are valid.

Is it possible to have erotomania under these circumstances? Can anybody give me examples of peaceful erotomania (that does not involve stalking etc)?

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give.

I don't know all that much about this, but it sounds like your feelings start affecting your life. I think this maybe makes the difference, if your beliefs impact you negatively or not. You say you would feel real upset if this was proven not to be true. Would you be open to other rships or meeting new people who are not the celebrity?

Im-pure wrote:I don't know all that much about this, but it sounds like your feelings start affecting your life. I think this maybe makes the difference, if your beliefs impact you negatively or not. You say you would feel real upset if this was proven not to be true. Would you be open to other rships or meeting new people who are not the celebrity?

Thank you for your reply!

I would be open to meeting new people or relationships if the opportunity presented itself. In the meantime you're right that it's affecting me negatively. I guess I'm avoiding seeking help in case it's true and also because I had bad experiences with doctors in the past, so I want to be sure I definitely need help before I seek it.

Hi, I have another question, if anyone is able to answer it... how do doctors generally react to this kind of situation? I emailed a mental health info charity, saying what I wrote here and that I'm already diagnosed with a personality disorder, and they just sent me info on the PD I already have diagnosis of and ignored the erotomania part. This charity is usually very knowledgable and helpful. So, is it likely that I could go to a doctor and they will just laugh me off, or have no knowledge at all of this condition?

I have had erotomania for years and I have never been aggressive- it is not my personality. I am not a stalker and never have been. I personally think a lot of doctors have not treated anyone with this disorder. It is a serious disorder and needs to be treated as such. It would probably be a good idea for you to avoid going to her concerts. I went to a few concerts then realized it was not healthy for me to go. I can still be a fan and that's great but I know my limitations.

She's Come Undone wrote:I have had erotomania for years and I have never been aggressive- it is not my personality. I am not a stalker and never have been. I personally think a lot of doctors have not treated anyone with this disorder. It is a serious disorder and needs to be treated as such. It would probably be a good idea for you to avoid going to her concerts. I went to a few concerts then realized it was not healthy for me to go. I can still be a fan and that's great but I know my limitations.

Thanks for sharing. There definitely needs to be more info on it out there as what's available implies that nearly all cases are aggressive.

Was this person really focusing their attention on you to a larger degree than she would most people while you were at her concert?

Possibly.

Has she used her memory of you for inspiration in song writing? This one's less likely, at least to the degree you're making it out to be, but if you tone it down, it becomes quite likely. Songwriters use their experiences in their song writing, you may really have slipped in there somewhere.

Is she in love with you, sending messages to you via tweets? This one I don't buy at all.

See, the thing is that it is entirely possible that when she saw you in the audience, she liked what she was seeing, and could see in you qualities that many people don't have. Maybe the qualities you displayed are the kind of qualities which she often feels herself drawn to.

So, what should you make of all of this? If it's true, it means you have a rare quality to you, that resonates with this person. Feel good about yourself for what she saw in you, by all means do. But try to not to look at it in the way you seem to be at the moment - simply see it for what it is.

If you really have these qualities, then be yourself, and you'll inspire many others too. Don't let the stories that people tell you, and which you add to, become your main focus. There's so much more to life than that.

This is just one experience you've had, in the whole sea of experiences which is your life. And hey, maybe it's not what happened it all, maybe it's just a story, albeit a quite nice one. But life is made of stories, and you're choosing what happens in yours.