I want to find the people who are watching me

Plain and simple. I want to find them.

I dont know who they are exactly, but its a group - it would have to be. They are tracking me. I dont know why. I dont know how - probably multiple methods.

Im posting here in search of a few things:

1. Help - I may or may not be their only target/subject/whatever. Someone here may believe themselves to be "crazy", but are actually correct in their suspicions. Lets chat, share info, team up, whatever...you dont have to actually look for them with me, but your info could help me a ton in my search.

2. Communication - they are likely reading/seeing/aware of this, I dont mind. They know Ive been reaching out (which might explain why things have tightened up of late). But maybe someone who works for them will see this and find a way to drop a hint...open a door...whatever. An inside man (woman). Think about it, find a way, be careful.

More later...

I have reason to believe they are on my side, that they are helping me in certain situations. I do not believe they are "evil" or intend to hurt me in any way.

Although, I do believe they could cause harm if they wanted. Further, they might - though this is only a guess - if I were to make a decent "escape" attempt.

You say you don't think they want to hurt you, is it out of the question to say they could be protecting you?

Its not out of the question at all!

In fact, there have been a handful of events that have been overtly protective. Over the years, they have also provided me more subtle things - beneficial situations, for example - that have been "protective", but that I was allowed to act freely. (a few of which I rejected, opting for alternative courses/paths)

I believe they are on my side, for the most part. But would keep me within certain "lines"...probably, although, I'm less sure of this. There may be fewer restrictions than I expect.

I dont think this is the place...

There are people watching me too, all the time. Recently they tried to murder me because they want me to die. I almost died but I am stronger than they are! I am strong. You are strong too and I want you to know you are not alone in the sense that you have people watching you. You are strong!!

Do you know (or have a clue) why they tried to murder you?

PaulMaster909 wrote:Do you know (or have a clue) why they tried to murder you?

/TW/
yes i do. its because im not real and my body is a projection to fill up the empty space in reality (another long story). they are controlling me but i rebelled and i am stronger than they are but i was never supposed to know that i dont exist so theyre coming after me. since they cant control me directly they do so by trying to get me to, you know, kill myself.

i cant tell if its a delusion or not.

The human brain is an amazing thing. And when I was finally able to realize and understand that no one was watching or listening to me I was very sad, scared, angry...you name it. I dealt with this for a long time and took medications, did therapy, hid from my family. After 40 years I saw a doctor who tested me for vitamin deficiencies and I found I was severely low in vitamin D and B12. After 10 months of being treated for the vitamin deficiencies and completely changing my diet I have finally seen some relief from the feeling of being watched or listened to. Nothing ever helped before. The realization that what I was eating or not eating caused my brain to do the things it did makes me very sad because I feel like it was my fault but all I can do now is make sure I am getting all of my essential nutrients everyday because that is what the body needs to function and I have not had any setbacks....only forward motion, so I know that this is what the problem was all along.

provanity wrote:

PaulMaster909 wrote:Do you know (or have a clue) why they tried to murder you?

/TW/
yes i do. its because im not real and my body is a projection to fill up the empty space in reality (another long story). they are controlling me but i rebelled and i am stronger than they are but i was never supposed to know that i dont exist so theyre coming after me. since they cant control me directly they do so by trying to get me to, you know, kill myself.

i cant tell if its a delusion or not.

Interesting you should say this. I've been working out a philosophical position for the existence of the self. "I" do exist, no matter what anyone else has to say about it. A few basic points are that "I"/the Self has measurable effects and can self identify and self declare. "I"/the Self cares not for the external denials - such as the Buddhist denial of the Self and other similar proclamations. Sometimes I think of what we know as Reality being a computer simulation (as an example, a demonstration). The programmers would say the simulation is not real. And perhaps they believe they are right - perhaps they never intended to create life. But just ask any Self and you'll get a different answer.

I believe in the Self. Which, I guess that statement is redundant...

So as far as you understand it, if you do not exist, do you know the fundamental nature of Reality? If you dont exist, what/where is this consciousness having this discussion?