Will it ever end?

Is this something that you can actually be fully "cured" of? I've been suffering from delusions for a few years now.. early this year I came to some senses and became aware of the possibility that my delusions (as I refer to them now, mostly for simplicity's sake), may be just that: delusions. I've been seeing a doctor since then, but haven't seen much improvement over the months.

My current state can only be described as constantly alternating between my two realities. At times my delusions seem absurd, but most other times I have lapses where they become my reality. I'm sure many others can sympathize with my situation. Before I was aware I at least didn't have the struggles and frustration that I face everyday.. maybe living was easier then (or maybe not, as my delusions are of the persecutory nature).

My doctor's current treatment plan is to try to get me to experience other aspects of life and to avoid thoughts relating to my delusions with the help of a very low dosage of anti-depressants. The problem is, I can't get myself to actually commit to treating myself. In short, I can't let myself go of my delusions. I feel like I'm in a loop with no way out.

So my impossible question is, how do get out?

Hi,
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well.

I've been in treatment for a decade, with a few breaks, where I was on medication holiday's and relapsed. I've found effective care with atypical antipsychotic medication. My recommendation is find a psychiatrist you trust or psychiatric nurse practitioner. Figure out what motivates you to live as healthy as you can and take the prescribed medication daily. For me, relationships motivate me. I text with someone who cares, and that keeps me medication compliant. In time the delusions will fade with effective care, if you respond to the treatment. Time heals the memory. Most of my most vibrant delusions have receded into the background. I find as a human we have the ability to be resilient. I agree that finding things you enjoy is important. I like to work, I like to read romance, and I like to write. I focused on those things I like trying to find my way forward. Letting go of the false beliefs has been the hardest part of my journey. I'm learning to live with the memories of the delusions and let go to the best of my ability of them. Sometimes I have breakthrough thoughts, but for the most part, the medication is effective. I do try to take care of myself and be gentle with myself.

Sunny

Hello Sunny, thank you for the kind words and all the work that you do for this sub. It makes me very happy to hear that there could be better days in the future. I think the main issue with my situation is that my delusions get worse when I'm around other people, which is very often. I now realize that this can and very likely will take a long time to treat which is an unappetizing thought, but I will try to focus on other things in the meantime.

May I ask if you have any tips on letting go of memories? Something I struggle with constantly is remembering an event that happened in the past that reinforced my delusions which in turn worsens my current state.

Ramp,

Out of curiosity how is your sleeping?

Systemat1k wrote:Ramp,

Out of curiosity how is your sleeping?

It usually takes an hour and a bit to fall asleep. I've recently developed a problem of not being able to fall back asleep when waking up in the middle of the night or early morning. My sleep is full of dreams and affect my life very much.