Constant Daydreams, and Inner Voice Harrassment.

I'm not sure where to post this, but this seems like the correct place. Without getting into to much detail, I have been having problems with my inner voice. Sometimes, I can't get it to stop harassing, and demeaning me. The voice is my voice, the same voice that says "the coffees hot" etc. Occasionally it won't stop, a constant barrage of all the mistakes I've made in my life, how I should do something about the social problems in the world. I can't really explain it that well. It's like my Id is attacking me. The worst case of it I was actually screaming out loud for it to stop. Whenever I see certain people on television, or on a magazine cover, it pipes up for a while. I feel as if one day, the voice, my voice, will become me. I seek violent interactions with people, when I see gangbanger types wearing hip-hop clothes I give them the stink eye hoping they will try to fight with me. It's actually very hard to write this without me telling me things. I also feel much more relaxed and free while wearing a mask, or anything covering my face. I usually wear hats, and like the winter because I can cover my face. Some history on myself, I was witness to many violent incidents from age 5 on. I've been in and out of mental institutions since I was 10 years old. I never told the psychiatrists about the real things I think and believe. Just what they wanted to hear. They diagnosed me with O.D.D., manic depression, adhd. But thats all crap honestly, just something to tell my mother to calm her down. I went to the mental hospitals because I would run away from home and not go to school. The voice started in on me a few years back, at about age 23-24. Was it the 3 years of isolation from 21-24(I talked to no one for the duration of those years)? If there is some kind of information you could share about this, whatever it is, it would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry to hear you are struggling with these symptoms. Having people to listen and building relationships is important to healing from the memories of delusions or other psychotic symptoms. I try to focus on protective concepts to guide me through the dark moments of the illness. In addition in some cases medication can be effective, I know it works for me. Hope you feel better.
Sunny

Sunnyg wrote:Sorry to hear you are struggling with these symptoms. Having people to listen and building relationships is important to healing from the memories of delusions or other psychotic symptoms. I try to focus on protective concepts to guide me through the dark moments of the illness. In addition in some cases medication can be effective, I know it works for me. Hope you feel better.
Sunny

Serotonin and dopamine re-uptake inhibitors would work for this? Do actual psychologists or psychiatrists post on this forum? No offense, thanks for the kind words and all, but I'm just trying to get an idea of what this is. Am I psychotic? Delusional? Is there even a niche that these symptoms fit into? The only thing that really helps is a meditative technique I learned. Focusing my mind to be blank throughout the day. But sometimes it doesn't work and I seem to be drawn to violent, or dangerous acts through the constant badgering of my inner dialogue. The voice is right, it doesn't tell me to do wrong things, just things that a person shouldn't or wouldn't do normally. It's like it's telling me if i don't do it no one will, and it will never get done. For example I was at a major store, and they asked to see my receipt before I left. Instead of just showing them my receipt I asked if they were accusing me of stealing, and if they wanted to see my receipt they could call the police. I wanted to just show the person my receipt, like everyone else, but the dialogue, my voice, wouldn't allow it. Is that normal, is that just my conscience? Am I making a big deal over nothing? The voice seems to have more power and influence when I'm tired or stressed. When I awake in the morning and when I'm about to go to sleep it's the most adamant and abusive. I feel as if this voice is becoming me, and I'm becoming it. When reminded of a violent act that was enacted upon me, I can't stop the voice. It consumes me and I'm afraid that it will get me arrested and put in prison. You say I should talk to another person and build a relationship with them, how would that help? Seems like telling another person would just add fuel to the voices fire. "Now he/she knows how looney you are psycho, have fun at the next social get together" It would probably say something like that. Again psychotic, delusional, something new, serial killer in the making? What is this exactly? Thanks again though for the niceties Sunny.

A resounding YES! ssri's can work for this, if you find the right one. I'm proof.
I was my own worst critic and constantly focused on it and continuously beat myself up for being human. (haha)
I went on an ssri years ago, for other issues (I thought), such as OCD, clinical depression, anxiety and panic attacks. And you know what? Finally my head got some peace and quiet. I was lucky to find a med that worked for me almost immediately. After many years, I upped my dose slightly for a few years and then decided to go back to the original dose. Imagine my surprise when after so many many years that horrible inner critic came back. I am back on the higher dose and it's gone again. So, I guess I have at least proved to my self, that it is a chemical brain thing, and not just "learning to like yourself"

I get a harassing inner voice as well and experience intense randomized anger towards people too. Sunny is right, social relationships DO help let them know your private details soul reflection is what helped me. Annnddd more so, I habituated an even greater voice and she's my inner child. We all have a conscious, sometimes that part of us hides in midst of negativity, your instinctual emotion is what guides you to heaven. I feel so overwhelmingly happy at times because I unlocked the key to my illness (so it seems)

For example,

"Yeah of course you would wear that today."
I depersonalize myself from the inner critic and
Reply with, "yes because I am fabulous"
Learning to have fun with the most unrealistic judgement in our minds
And can't even say you're becoming it, YOU ARE IT, TAAGG.
Lol really though, this is all YOU
Tell yourself that "okay YOURE being mean to me, and I want that to stop."
Parentally advise your thoughts
Guide yourself and TRUST YOUR INNERCHILD
Weirdness is the bread and butter to making friends
Have you seen fifty shades? Read her book even a famous author gets a wavering subconscious that sneers at her
THIS IS NORMAL WERE ALL FCKING CRAZY
Lol I'm getting wild up
Which is OKAY cause I'm awesomeeee

And weird

Ka booom

So just be "yourself"
And have fun.

Best advice there is.
Mantras to have:

Vibrate higher
This is all in my head
What can I do to improve my situation?
I will not back down
This is temporary